While everyone else worries about Y2K and the end of 2012 bringing about momentous change to the world, I am plagued by April.<\/p>\n
Yes, April. Not a specific year (though years ending in ‘4 seem to be harbingers of major changes), but April in general.<\/p>\n
For most people, April means Easter or tax time. For me, it means big, big changes. How big?<\/p>\n
Well, let’s start with 1984. I was just 26. I was living in Renton, Washington, working in a dead end job in the mailroom at Associated Grocers making $5\/hour. I was married to my high school sweetheart. We had a little one bedroom apartment up on Mill Avenue and a little girl who was almost 3.<\/p>\n
Oh, I forgot to mention that I was absolutely miserable and that my life sucked. I had such big dreams of being a writer back then, and here I was, working in the mailroom. An exciting night was going to the Bunkhouse tavern to play in the band my brothers and I had. Not a real band, mind you. A jug band.<\/p>\n
There was only one saving grace. I was a Seafair Pirate. That was both a good and a bad thing, for through it I had come to realize that my life sucked. I didn’t really know that before.<\/p>\n
Well, to make a long story short, my pirate life got a little complex, I had to protect the virtue of my girlfriend by touching another man’s penis, I didn’t come home that night as result, my wife kicked me out of my house, my mother slapped me hard on the face, I was forced to flee for my life because my brothers were threatening to kill me, and everything I knew in my life changed in an instant.<\/p>\n
Yup, it sas April.<\/p>\n
In 1994, I got married after being ‘single’ for a decade. Not April, but it was another of my famous ‘4 milestones.<\/p>\n
Fast forward to 2004. I was now 46. I was living in Port Orchard by now. I had managed to be married for 10 years to my second wife. And to make another long story short, we went to Key West, I didn’t know that you could keep logs of iChats on the Mac, I was asked to sleep in the guest room that night, I had to make a big decision about the future by morning (Easter, no less), so I did, ended up sleeping on the office floor for a week, then flew off to Altamonte Springs, Florida by the end of that week, getting into an entirely different relationship with a complete stranger and an entirely different life.<\/p>\n
Of course, it was April.<\/p>\n
The end of the Florida relationship (and resultant marriage) happened in April too, five years later. I still consider it an early birthday present – one of the best gifts I ever got.<\/p>\n
The last few Aprils have been quiet. Perhaps too quiet. Of course, every April isn’t always a brouhaha of this magnitude. Some pass quietly. I like to think of them in geological terms. Like the earth’s tectonic plates, pressure just builds up where they meet. Pressure continues to build up over the years and then CRACK!!! – the pressure releases and all hell breaks loose.<\/p>\n
In my case, this results in a zerrthquake – a correction of the universe, well, at least my universe so that everything appears to be in order once again, at least to me.<\/p>\n
Yes, there has been collateral damage. I’m sure Mother Nature is sorry for this as well. It can’t be helped. A random April comes along and BAM! – all hell breaks loose. I can’t explain the forces of nature that are doing this in my life. It just seems to favor April. Perhaps it’s an Infernal Equinox thing, that time when you can amaze your friends by standing an egg on its end on top of a moving box.<\/p>\n
I know only too well that April is just a week away as I write this. April 1 looms on the horizon and I am powerless to stop its impending arrival.<\/p>\n
Thankfully, there has been no iChatting this time. No penises that aren’t my own. If I were to sleep on the office floor this time at least it’s in my own space. I don’t have any flights booked, at least any to Altamonte Springs.<\/p>\n
But still, April is out there… waiting patiently. It knows that I can’t avoid it forever. Eventually, March will sell me out and April will arrive, with or without my permission.<\/p>\n
What its plans are, I know not. I have some vague ideas, but April loves to surprise me in ever interesting ways, so I don’t profess to know what lies in store.<\/p>\n
Right now, March is doing its best to go out like a lamb. That is never a good sign. If you noticed, April never says what it’s going to be, none of this “In like a lion, out like a lamb” crap. Sure, there’s “April showers bring May flowers.” But that really doesn’t do much for me, because in my case, when it rains it pours by the buckets full.<\/p>\n
So April, bring it on. I’m ready for you this time. I am ready for whatever you have to send my way. I no longer fear you as you’ve done your worst to me in the past and I am still here. At least for now.<\/p>\n
Out on the Treasure Coast, going where the weather suits my new clothes,<\/p>\n
– Robb<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
P.S. April did arrive, and with it change. Unknown to me at the time of this writing, I was about to get my job with the State of Washington. I was going home. April 12 to be exact, to that place where the weather suits my clothes and temperament.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" While everyone else worries about Y2K and the end of 2012 bringing about momentous change to the world, I am plagued by April. Yes, April. Not a specific year (though years ending in ‘4 seem to be harbingers of major changes), but April in general. For most people, April means Easter or tax time. For […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2561","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-lessons"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/robzerrvations.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2561","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/robzerrvations.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/robzerrvations.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/robzerrvations.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/robzerrvations.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2561"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/robzerrvations.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2561\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6114,"href":"http:\/\/robzerrvations.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2561\/revisions\/6114"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/robzerrvations.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2561"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/robzerrvations.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2561"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/robzerrvations.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2561"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}