I’m not really sure why I am learning so much about myself these days. I have a sneaking suspicion it is Kat’s doing, at least in part. I should really just buy a couch and make some appointments with her.<\/p>\n
But in this last case, my epiphany came at the hands of CBS Sunday Morning. Yes, I’m a regular watcher because it’s not all about death and disaster. Rather, it has great features that show you how amazing this world really is.<\/p>\n
Case in point, the feature on Alabama Shakes. If you’ve been under a rock or haven’t figured out how to use a smartphone yet, Alabama Shakes is a band, fronted by\u00a0Brittany Howard.<\/p>\n
I’m not really a fan, well, not yet. But arguably, Brittany is one of the most interesting people in the music business and she’s really doing her own groove-thang while staying amazingly grounded, at least for a major artist.<\/p>\n
My favorite part of the interview was when the reporter asked her what drove her and she responded, “I have to keep myself entertained.” Kat looked over at me, I looked over at her and it was like a bell went off in my own head.<\/p>\n
“My god,” I said. “That’s me!”<\/p>\n
All these years of doing some incredibly whacky, creative, daring and to some, strange things was all because I have to keep myself entertained. Geez, how easy is that?<\/p>\n
Well, it’s not always easy to see what drives you or what gives you that high in life. It’s not always a hit over the head kind of epiphany, because often it’s a singular, almost imperceptible thing that courses its way through everything you do. You may not even be aware of it, yet it guides you throughout your life, like a secret engine under the hood that is really driving you around in this world.<\/p>\n
I have to keep myself entertained. Wow! That explains so much. It also explains why I have chosen certain paths in my life, often zigging when any other somewhat-sane individual would be zagging. At times I took the course less challenging. Other times I took the leap of faith off the cliff just to see if I would land on my feet.<\/p>\n
I guess many of us do this as kids. I grew up pretty much without playmates, my brothers being much older than I, so I was my own best companion.<\/p>\n
As such, I had to keep myself entertained. I let my imagination soar, letting it go wherever it wanted to.<\/p>\n
Many of us outgrow this, I guess. Me? I continue to let it fly, creating stuff that simply boggles the minds of my friends, acquaintances and coworkers. I hardly give these things a passing thought, because after all, I’m just keeping myself entertained.<\/p>\n
Boredom has always been my most despised enemy. I hate being bored. Yes, that has included relationships, jobs, passions and pursuits. If I become bored, crazy things can happen because I have this intense need to keep myself entertained.<\/p>\n
There are times when I don’t even need anyone around to appreciate it. It’s all for me. I think something up, find a way to do it, often without the rabbits and hats I often mention in my RobZerrvations, and take great satisfaction that I not only achieved it, but it entertained me as well.<\/p>\n
It really isn’t about the kudos and it’s not even about feeling validated. It’s about the entertainment value. The result isn’t always the important thing. Often it’s the process that keeps me entertained, such as the time I decided to build a treasure chest in my apartment. People need a shop to do this? Really? A saber saw and drill work in the living room, too. I was just fine with it. My neighbors? I would imagine they didn’t enjoy all the sawing and hammering at 10 p.m., but I was entertained by it all.<\/p>\n
My need to keep myself entertained has led down all sorts of interesting roads. It’s leading down one right now as I write this, my inexpensive form of therapy where others get to be entertained (hopefully) by my own journey on this rock. If they aren’t, no matter. I get a kick out of it.<\/p>\n
All these years I’ve thought I was one way only to find out I was another. It explains all sorts of things, such as why I never tried to get a high profile job in my profession. I am deathly afraid that I won’t be entertained by managing processes and pushing paper around. I like the doing. The doing – the writing, the designing, the creative stuff – it keeps me entertained and satisfied in my work life. All the bells and whistles of being a bigwig just never appealed to me. Where’s the entertainment value in that?<\/p>\n
I used to regret this, you know. I used to blame myself for not ascending to the top of my profession when I really think I’m just as creative and just as smart as anyone else in marketing or communications.<\/p>\n
And now I understand that the true hold up is whether I would be able to keep myself entertained. Would the box become so small and demanding that it would no longer be fun or interesting? Sure, the challenge is cool, but I’m not ever sure that a challenge for the sake of a challenge, or worse, a challenge for the sake of a six-figure paycheck, has any true or lasting entertainment value for me. Lord knows we’ve seen me when I’m put in a small box – I get belligerent, moody and contrary. Then I get mutinous, contentious and eventually, unbearable.<\/p>\n
Why? Because a small box can’t keep me entertained. I like a big playground, one that lets me dream up all sorts of stuff that is not only useful, often amazing, but which keeps me endlessly entertained, whether it’s at work, home or play.<\/p>\n
I’m still digesting all this as I type this. It’s another one of those profound moments in time when you get at least a glimmer of who you are. Pretty cool stuff, and more important, very entertaining.<\/p>\n
In the Emerald City, amusing myself (hey! hey! Mind out of the gutter now),<\/p>\n
– Robb<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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