From a woman’s standpoint, I am sure this is also true with the men out there in Online Datingland. I wouldn’t know. I haven’t dated any of them. At one point, I may have thought about it, especially after one string of dates that caused me to really wonder why I was heterosexual.<\/p>\n
There was a nurse up Cocoa way. I took her to dinner and it was nice. But she seemed to be having an identity crisis, and when I innocently tried to support her desire to change careers, she launched off on me with a “who do the f**k” you think you are” dressing down.<\/p>\n
I dated a teacher, too. We really hit it off. Her name was Rebecca and we had a lovely exchange via emails. I’m not making this up. Here is a brief edited version of an email:<\/p>\n
“That was good . . . the sushi reference . . . made me laugh . . . I really like that! Encouraging isn’t it? Now, I should have known I was in trouble when she said she didn’t like sushi. I had learned a few things about women and there were several who automatically were rejected: Agnostic or atheist, never married, didn’t drink, didn’t like sushi, registered Republican and a few others.<\/p>\n But, on our first and only date, it couldn’t end soon enough. While she was great with email, she sucked at conversation, another big thing for me. So, we finished dinner, went to Lou’s Blues, listened to the music, then I walked her out to the car. It was then she liplocked me unexpectedly, holding on for dear life. I was soooo confused.<\/p>\n Now, I’m not saying I’m some kind of lady’s man. History has shown that I may even be a questionable catch. But this was very confusing to me. She had the “cold fish” for dinner then ordered up a platter of “suck face” for dessert. Wha???<\/p>\n I was also always confused by the “half glass, half full” cliche women love to put in their dating profiles. It seemed to be contagious, because every other profile seemed to have it. “I always think of my life as half full.” Wha?? If it’s only half full someone isn’t pouring fast enough. And if it’s half empty you aren’t drinking fast enough.<\/p>\n I know it must be tough to write your own bio. For me, it’s a breeze because I sit at home, make stuff up and people send me checks. The luck of a writer. And I certainly don’t judge the quality of a person’s bio. I will note obvious misspellings though. I think everyone should maybe use spellcheck before trying to impress a prospective beau. Especially when you’re a teacher.<\/p>\n I had some other odd encounters. Ones that seemed to go extremely well, only to have them tell me they weren’t interested. That’s cool. I had the same experience, too. Like Robin, the psycho who was all tease, no sleaze (which was fine with me) but went nuts when I said she joking said she was a cheap date because she said she only wanted a hot dog for dinner). NOTE: Women say they want a guy with a good sense of humor, but they don’t always have a good sense of humor themselves.<\/p>\n I know it’s not easy to find someone. But you really have to put your best foot out there. I always was upfront with people, telling them I was a pirate entertainer. That was a turn off to some, a turn on to others. I wasn’t trying to make it either. Just wanted them to understand that it was an important part of my life and that I tend to disappear for days at a time to play pirate and entertain children of all ages.<\/p>\n And photos. Can’t anyone take a decent photo? There are the famous photos of someone standing so far back you can’t see their face but you can see all of the Eiffel Tower. I have seen hundreds of travelogue photos. I have met all the family pets. I have even seen profiles with 20 photos and only one is of the person. Even then you can’t make out a single feature on their face.<\/p>\n I’m not dating your cat, your dog or the places you’ve been to. I want to date you. If you have a really great Halloween costume, put it up there. If you love to garden, let’s see you knee deep in dirt. Love those. I have pictures of me as a pirate and the models I build out of recyclables. A package deal there. I don’t mind if you have similar photos.<\/p>\n
\nI checked out your company’s website. Quite impressive. I have a sneaking suspicion you’re going to kick my ass in Scrabble!”<\/em><\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/robzerrvations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/002t052WHOL.jpg\" "\\"002t052WHOL\\"")
<\/a>But here’s what I’ve noticed. I’ve seen tons of behinds and cleavages. Case in point. In the interest of journalistic objectivity, I have chosen a typical photo. I am not making this up. I went through a dating site today to find a photo that is real. This person is actually interested in finding her dream date. This is the photo she chose to post of herself.<\/p>\n