First, this isn’t a story of a conquest over a lass who was named Faith. I don’t need to blast my love life all over the Net. But it is a funny story, one that always makes my friends laugh. So, here we go.
Many years ago I was seeing a woman from Louisiana. Eventually we broke up in a nasty way and that was that. Until we were boarding the plane to go to Grand Cayman for Pirate’s Week, that is. As I stepped aboard the plane, there she was, sitting on the aircraft.
To make this story short, one thing led to another and we reconnected. Before we knew it we were making out on the floor of my condo. I was doing, uh, some calisthenics (think push ups). Suddenly, I heard her say, “Oooo.” It was not a passionate verbalization, but one of surprise. So what is a guy to do. I naturally started wanted to see what was going on.
Unknown to me, I was the cause of her surprise. It seems that while we were cavorting, the pendant on my necklace had entered her right nostril. If this had been a Greek Horn of Plenty (so popular back then, though I still don’t know why), this would not be a problem. But my pendant was an anchor.
So, the anchor did what an anchor does best. It anchored in the side of her nostril. As I rose to see what was happening, it ripped through her nose and tore it wide open, like a knife cut. She was now furious, crying and bleeding profusely. I couldn’t help but start laughing. It’s as if the gods had sent this message that we shouldn’t have picked up where we left off. Or that the girl who had given it to me was reeling it in from Seattle, knowing I was up to no good. back home).
Needless to say, the moment had passed. Romance was gone. Crying and laughter filled the condo as she gathered her clothes and stormed out the front door. I followed her, of course, offering a towel — I know, not much of a gentleman as I was still laughing.
She jumped into her car, threw it in reverse and backed out. Then before she left, she threw a bottle of Asti Spumante at me. It hit the pavement and skittered to the base of my feet, unbroken. Like it only happens in the movies. I ended up drinking it later with friends in the Caribbean as we toasted Faith and her new piercing.
Just goes to show that having Faith can really hurt, but not the un-Faithful.
Till another day,
– Robb