I have to admit, I’ve never watched any installment of The Godfather. I had an employee once, Darcy, who was obsessed with organized crime and sometimes I think these are the only movies she ever watched.
I did, however, really enjoy Godfather’s Pizza. It was thick, the crust was delicious and I would regularly find my way to any Godfather’s Pizza in lieu of any other pizza joint in town.
Now, you’d think that a business named after the Godfather would have a decisive management team, one that could make decisions on the fly and stick to their decisions, even if it meant offing one of their own or dropping them into the drink with a brand new pair of cement shoes.
You can imagine my surprise then this morning when I read about Herman Cain’s senior moment with the Milwaukee-Wisconsin Journal Sentinel editorial board yesterday. In case you don’t know who Herman is, he was CEO of Godfather’s Pizza. And oh yes, he thinks he’s going to be the President of the United States someday.
I hope that day is a freezing one in hell because they guy is an idiot. If you haven’t seen the interview with the editorial board, I will cut and paste the highlight reel without changing a single word, because hey, it’s funny enough. He was asked about Libya and whether he supported Obama’s position.
“Okay, Libya,” he responded when asked whether he agreed with President Obama’s actions in the region. Eight seconds later, after looking up, biting his lip and blinking repeatedly, Cain asked, “President Obama supported the uprising, correct?”
“I just want to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say ‘Yes, I agree’ or ‘No, I do not agree.”
But just as Cain, a former conservative talk radio host, started to respond to the question, he then changed his mind.
“I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reasons – um, no, that’s a different one,” he said, before uncrossing and crossing his legs, shifting position in his seat, and adjusting his jacket.
“Let’s see, I’ve got to go back, see,” he continues. “(I’ve) got all this stuff twirling around in my head.”
If you really want to see the whole thing, click here.
In his defense, he went on to make sweeping, meaningless generalizations about how as a successful businessman he would listen to all sides of the argument, get the information he needed and then make a decision. This included, and again, I’m not making this up, seeing who the opposition was, who their intended leader would be and whether they had a succession plan in place.
Uh, Herman, I hate to tell you, but revolutions are not run like Godfather’s Pizza. They don’t have a plan in place. If you recall our own country’s history (I’m sure Herman must have cracked open a history book in school somewhere), our own country had a revolution. They hadn’t already picked George Washington to be the president. Hell, they didn’t even know they were going to have a president, because the Constitution came much later.
Now, you could say I’m being hard on the guy. But he wants to be the damned President. Can you imagine a moment of real crisis, such as intelligence that China was planning a surprise strike on us. There’d be Herman, sitting in the White House… “the stuff twirling around inside his head”, as he himself says.
Then he’d want a lot of opinions, study some Pareto charts and make a decision about what to do next about that China thing. In the meantime, we’re getting an unexpected tan from the light show outside.
I actually believe I would be a better candidate than anyone running right now. My personal transgressions are well documented so you won’t find me fondling someone who later got a six figure severance check. I have a book out (which seems to be a requirement for candidacy – and I actually wrote mine). Unlike Rick Perry, I know that cutting the Commerce Department would include NOAA, which tracks hurricanes and saves us millions of dollars in untold damage because we can prepare.
And, unlike Herman, I know the Libya situation. In fact, I know it far better than he does and have from the start. It’s not rocket science. Read a couple news websites in the morning and you can pretty well get the gist of every national and international issue out there. I can also pontificate endlessly about Iran, the Euro financial crisis, the Occupy movement… need I go on?
I certainly wouldn’t have sat there for eight long, look up at the sky, adjust my tie seconds trying to form an answer. For god sake’s man, put on your big boy panties and say what you think!!!!
As you can see, the Godfather isn’t getting my vote. If he had been in charge of organized crime and had a similar moment with his lieutenants, the police would have found him in an alley somewhere, looking a lot like a slice of Swiss cheese (which isn’t a good pizza topping, by the way).
The guy is nothing short of a moron. Rick Perry is no better. Michele Bachmann is a psycho, Newt Gingrich has the moral fiber of a 180 thread count sheet and Mitt Romney, egad, do I need to go further? His name is Mitt. Like something your son wears to a baseball game.
Now, don’t think for a moment that I like Obama any better. The guy is milquetoast. I originally thought he had a spine but he should think about a new career more in keeping with his main talent, indecisiveness. Perhaps he and Herman can go into the restaurant business and make a decent competitor for the Waffle House. Both of them seem to have some expertise in the area of waffling.
I pray every day to God that he will give us a miracle: A real candidate, like we used to have up until the end of the 1980s. The supply has run out and there is little hope in our world if we still think people named Newt, Mitt and Herman are presidential material.
Out on the Treasure Coast, working on my campaign signs as we speak,
– Robb