I have been back in the real world for about four months now. During that time, I have come to love many things others take for granted. Things like health insurance, a retirement plan, a regular paycheck, paid vacations, you know, the stuff that makes working for someone else rather than yourself simply wonderful.
Sure, some people will say they can’t stand the place they work or the people they work with or for. I fortunately don’t have that problem. I used to, many years ago, but the idea of steady money and healthcare really made that much more tolerable.
But this isn’t about where I work. If it were, it would have been very short and to the point… I love my job.
However, as always, I think there could be room for improvement. Like paid holidays. I think the current roster of holidays is a bit inconvenient. Mind you, it always has been. When I worked at a bank, we had some really funny holidays, things like Columbus Day. Back then, Columbus Day always fell on, well, Columbus Day. Oct. 12 to be exact.
If you’re a bit on the older side of life, then you remember that holidays used to actually be celebrated on the real date. Washington’s Birthday was Feb. 22. Now it’s the third Monday in February, regardless of where the 22nd actually falls. I don’t think Washington really minds that his birthday was moved so we could all enjoy a three-day weekend. Hell, when I die, you can all have the weekend around May 28th and go on a three-day bender. Why wait? Go ahead and plan for it now. On the Monday of the last weekend of May next year, don’t show up for work. Trust me, no one will mind a bit.
In my new job, I get 10 paid holidays. Two in January, one in February, one in May, one in July, one in September, three in November and one in December. Now, I’m not going to complain about the fact that the French get eight weeks of vacation a year. If I were to add in my paid vacation days with the holidays, I’d end up with… well, frankly, I have no idea. I really haven’t figured that part out yet.
Let’s go back to the holidays noted above.
As you can see, there are seven paid holidays in the winter and three in what could be considered summer, if you live in Florida. Here in Seattle, May can hardly be considered summer, and September is on the cusp. But the U.S. Committee for American Holidays, who created the idea of paid holidays, did put that holiday on the first Monday of the month. It’s kind of like August 34th in the Northwest.
As you can see, this is not the ideal situation. I’m really quite sure that paid holidays were designed for people in the south. No one wants to take a day off in the middle of summer there – June, July, August and even September are hot, damned hot.
No one there really notices this, of course, because everyone lives an AC existence. No, not the alternating current kind of AC. I’m talking about air-conditioning, the only reason people are able to live in the south. You get up in the morning in your air-conditioned house, make a made dash to the car with AC, work in a building with AC, go for drinks in an air-conditioned bar or restaurant, stop by the AC mall on your way home and then run back into your house again. You avoid the tepid heat as much as possible. Who cares if its a hundred-gazillion degrees out, there are no many paid holidays during the hot summer to be ruined by life on the surface of the sun.
Unfortunately, everyone who served on the committee that created paid holidays were from Georgia, Florida, Mississippi, Texas and Alabama. That’s why we don’t have any good summer vacation time, at least the kind that is sanctioned by the federal or state government, which means you get paid for it.
Personally, I would like to see Thanksgiving moved to the summer. I get two piad days then. We could also move Martin Luther King Day to that same week. If Washington didn’t care, I’m sure Martin doesn’t either. That leaves two working days that week.
Or better yet, we could simply apportion out the days.
As you can see in the above list, November, December and January are pretty holiday heavy. In March, you hit a dry spell. You don’t get another holiday until the end of May, so, factoring in President’s Day as your last paid holiday in mid February, you are holidayless for almost 16 weeks. No wonder people get cranky by the time Memorial Day rolls around.
It would probably be easiest if we move Veteran’s Day to say, early April. Sure, it can interfere with Easter, but that’s not a real holiday. We don’t get paid for it. So, we can move Veteran’s there and… hhm, June.
That’s a tricky one. I guess we can move MLK Day to June. Again, he shouldn’t mind. He’s dead. Washington didn’t exactly come back from his grave and gripe when his day moved up a couple so it could kind of-sort of include Lincoln, gaining the President’s Day moniker, even though it only covers two presidents, and then only vaguely.
That still leaves August empty, and with the Fourth of July being so early, we’re holidayless for about eight weeks before Labor Day comes along.
Geez, I don’t think we can move anything else around. I don’t think people would really be in the Yuletide spirit if it was 90 degrees on Christmas.
Well, I guess we’ll just have to add more holidays. In the spirit of the French, I propose adding Aug. 16th. That’s the day Elvis died. It’s also my friend Cassie’s birthday, so that’s as good as any reason to celebrate the day. Well, not the Elvis part. Long live the King!
We could just call it Casvis Day. A day celebrating life and death. Best of all, it fits in to the scheme fairly well, though it comes pretty close to that Labor Day thing.
Hhm, maybe I’ll just Mayan my own business and leave the calendars to someone else,
– Robb