Ever one to be on the pulse of society, I came upon an interesting tidbit in Zite. If you don’t have the app Zite, you should. It’s like having your own magazine, containing only the topics you’re interested in. My own Zite “digizine” on my iPad is set up for Food and Cooking, Gadgets, Science News, Social Media, and of course, Seattle and Washington.
Ah, Washington, one of the most divided states in the nation, a state where the eastern side consistently votes Republican, only to be outvoted by the more populous and liberal western side of the state. A place that has legalized marijuana and gay marriage on one felled swoop of voting fervor.
That’s always been one of my favorite things about living in Washington – it’s diversity, not only in race, population and geography, but in mindset. People here have strong opinions about all sorts of things, and if you don’t like the opinions of the community you’re in, move on down the road a spell and you’ll find a place that is just right for you.
Take the issue of guns in Washington State. In the interest of full disclosure, I don’t own a gun, well, at least a modern firearm that uses bullets. If we count my two flintlocks and the five pounds of gunpowder in the other room, I technically do own weapons. But they aren’t the kind that can be used easily when a threat presents itself and it certainly would be very hard to conceal, given their almost two foot long length.
Thankfully, I’m not really alone, at least here in Seattle. Gun ownership isn’t exactly high in Seattle, at least according to a recent report by KIRO TV. Now, there are some reasons for this, at least according to the founder of the Second Amendment Foundation, Alan Gottlieb.
Like most big cities, Seattle is a lot more liberal than the rest of the state. That’s why it’s hard to get a Republican in the Governor’s mansion here. Too many damned liberals. Liberals don’t tend to own guns. While the state average of gun ownership is about 5.8%, Seattle is at about 2.8%, according to KIRO’s estimate.
There are even pockets of resistance that fall far below this in and around Seattle. Bellevue is at about 2.9%, but on Capitol Hill, only 1.6% of residents own a gun.
But take heart gun toters and lovers, there are other parts of the state where everyone seems to carry a gun. Don’t take kindly to the kumbaya-love-one-another mentality of Seattle and its environs? Then Shuffle off to another part of the state where you can love your guns like a farmer loves his sheep.
So, Dirty Harry wannabes, where should you go if your idea of a good time is racking off a few rounds over a couple of beers with your best friend Jeb? If you still want to live in Western Washington, Tacoma is your best bet.
Compared to liberaland Seattle, Tacoma is the Wild West. Somewhere between 14 and 15% of all Tacoma residents own guns, right up there with Cle Elum. I can’t say I blame any of these people. If I lived there, I would probably own a gun, too.
After all, it’s Tacoma. I can hear Tacomans rising up in chorus right now, angry that I am dissing Tacoma. I think it’s deserved. You can’t hold out much hope for a city that calls its residents Tacomans. It sounds like everyone there should be in the food truck business serving up Mexican fare.
But fear not, there are other strongholds in Washington State, places where NRA membership is nearly 100%, places like Lyman. According to their website, Lyman is a “little bit of heaven hidden away from the bustle of big cities, a well kept secret.”
The town’s residents love the “peace and quiet of the town’s Skagit River setting” as much as they love the sound of gunfire blazing away on nearly every street corner. You see, the residents of Lyman hold the crown for gun ownership. Half of the town’s 480 residents carry guns, which I would assume includes more than a fair share of toddlers.
Lyman’s love of guns perhaps explains why they are the only city I have ever seen (and I have seen a lot of city websites) to include their cemetery in their navigation bar. They are pretty proud of their cemetery, which doubles as the city’s park. Yes, you read right. You can take your kids to the park to play on the swings and then stop by and pay your respects to grandma and grandpa, buried not too far away.
To be fair, there’s a good reason so many in Lyman are packin’ heat. There’s no police in town and the sheriff covers a wide area on his patrol, so it takes him a while to mosey on over to Lyman, even if a gun battle is raging at high noon down main street.
Even the mayor, who owns a bar, has a gun. When a hooligan recently threw a brick through the bar’s window, Mayor Heinzman grabbed her gun before heading downtown.
Me? I’ve never had any desire to own a modern firearm. And there’s a reason for this. I have extremely questionable decision-making skills. I know this because I took my turn at the simulator at the Police Museum in Florida with my police office friend, Josh. There, before me on the screen were good guys, police officers and innocent bystanders. I scored a 100% kill rate. There wasn’t a bystander or cop left standing when I was done.
It seems I have a real problem telling the difference between a real threat and a perceived threat. Sure, the woman holding the baby looked innocent enough, but that baby could have been a Lyman baby and toting a concealed weapon under that swaddle. I had no choice. It was them or me.
I think you’ll agree that we are all far better off that I don’t own a real gun. I am the real threat to society. A decision flawed Gemini with a shaky hand and unstable mind. One that should never be allowed to carry a firearm, even in Lyman.
In the Emerald City, being a little pistol as always,
– Robb