I am getting married this week. I admit to having a bit of trepidation last week about the whole thing. It wasn’t cold feet, mind you. It wasn’t fear or dread either. Far from it. Rather, it was nervousness and a bit of anxiety, largely because I actually have come to understand how important and equally, amazing, this whole thing is.
I guess I never really understood the gravity of marrying someone before. I know, I know. But I guess better late than never.
I am one lucky guy. I don’t think most people get to meet the one they were born to marry in their lifetime. A lot of people seem to just settle. Not necessarily in a bad way. They seem very happy and they’ve learned to love the one they are with. I simply found the one I was put on this earth to be with, and even though it took a lot longer than I would have liked, it made the journey well worth it.
I continue to be amazed and humbled. I make no secret about the fact that Kat is by far the most wonderful person I have ever known. She is the perfect point and counterpoint to me, and even though only a year has passed since we were actually ready for one another, we obviously have worked our entire lives for the privilege to be together now.
We finish one another’s sentences, we laugh at one another’s hideously corny jokes, we trade off playing Martin to the other’s Lewis and our “intense” discussions about the really important issues facing us last a couple minutes before we find out we see eye to eye on it or simply agree to disagree because it’s really not that central to our relationship or happiness.
No, we’re not perfect. Famously the opposite, in fact. And yet, we are so closely bonded to one another, that it is almost eerie. The jokes about getting our DNA checked to make sure we’re not from the same gene pool have a grain of truth about them.
Marvelous, given that each of us only knew of each other and not each other until last January. I guess when it’s right it’s right. The passage of time doesn’t really make a couple more suited to one another. I think sometimes we have a long courtship so we can get used to the other person or simply learn to tolerate them, rather than appreciate the miracle that they have chosen us as their partner in this journey called life.
Yes, planning this wedding has been pretty stressful. Our house is filled with projects and supplies for the wedding day. Cookies are being dipped and packaged on the dining room table and there’s flowers, beverages and provisions stacked all around. There’s also some homework to do, given to us by the minister who is going to marry us. Somehow we’ll find the time to fit that in, but at the moment it’s just another thing to do, stacked on the pile with the rest of the “to dos” before the “I dos.”
Yet, there are no points of contention between Kat and I. Decisions flow singularly from us after just a sentence or two. We joke about the fact that everything will probably go wrong at the wedding and how when you’re younger, you fear the possible miscalculations rather than welcome them.
The reason is simple for us. While it seems like the first time for both of us, we aren’t really worried about the show itself. Who cares if we don’t make it down the aisle at the right time or flub the words to our commitment to one another. It doesn’t matter that we have to pause the vows so we can both put on our reading glasses or have no idea whatsoever how we’re going to manage to get the music to our first dance started without one of us having to do it, then head to the floor.
It’s all good. We know that the only thing that matters on this day is that we do our legally required assignations to one another, sign the paperwork and hope to God that the minister remembers to send his part into the county so it’s all legal.
The ceremony itself and the reception are only so our friends can join us in celebration. We aren’t the show, our love is the show, and showing our love for one another and for our friends and family is what this wedding is all about.
Kat and I do have a bet who is going to cry more. I’m sure there will be tears as both of us are great writers and have poured our hearts out for the moment when we share our commitment to one another in the heartfelt words we penned to one another.
It’s all good. We’ll have a good laugh about it afterwards as we share the memory with our friends and then embark on our life together. Even though we share the same home, I think both of us know that it will be different when we return. We both get the gravity of what we are planning to do this Friday, and that the words said mean more than we probably ever imagined they would.
I guess that’s when you know it’s right. You come to understand that getting married is a lot different than simply living together. It’s a commitment before God, your friends and family that you promise to take care of one another for the rest of your days, the good and the bad, even the downright ugly.
I am ready for that journey to begin. Friday can’t come soon enough, for I am excited to come to the end of one road, and start on another, one I can share with the woman I was born to love, wherever that road may lead.
In the Emerald City, my heart overflowing with love for my darling Kat,
– Robb