RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
Shut Up Radio.
I have always had the basic rule in life that I would never date nor marry a media person. It's not that I despise them. In fact, several of my friends work in radio and television. They are wonderful friends, but I don't have to live with them. Unfortunately, due to a moment of temporary insanity and/or misguided tail-chasing, I not only dated a media maven, but married her. I found out in the intervening five years why this seemingly odd rule was in place to begin with. You see, living with...
To Have And Half Not.
When I was in Vegas playing my piratical guts out, I happened to get a call from someone in town. It's a funny thing these days, getting calls that show you where someone is calling from, and often, if the person is known to you, you even know who it is that's on the other end of the line. This is a wonderful advance in technology, for along with voicemail, I feel absolutely no need to answer the phone ever, especially when it's a number I'm not familiar with. Still, this phone number had a...
Where Oh, Chair Should I Be?
It's fairly common knowledge, at least among my friends, that I have a thing about chairs. I suppose most of us do. Most of us would prefer a comfy chair over an uncomfortable one; a chair with a view over one that faces a blank wall. Pretty pedestrian stuff. I've already covered the mysteries of Peer Chair Pressure a time or two. You know the drill. The more people that show up to the party and the fewer chairs, the more likely a person will be to choose a chair and sit in it all night long,...
It Tux Big Time.
I will start off by saying I have a suit. This has not always been the case. I didn't have a suit until last April. I only bought one because I needed to go to my job interview up in Seattle and hadn't brought a suit with me. Not that I owned a suit in Florida either. I did have one, but I don't think it fit me anymore. I had bought it five years earlier when I had an interview with Disney to be a speechwriter. I didn't get the job, even though it was a great suit. If you see a pattern here,...
Can I Pass The Test?
It's been a long time since I owned a car in Seattle. Sure, I used to live in Port Orchard. In fact, I lived there for five or so years. Then, as we know, I lost all my senses and moved to Florida for another eight. As such, it's been 13 years since I've had to do the car tab renewal thing in Seattle. If you live in the area you know the drill. Every other year you have to get an emissions test. It doesn't matter if you live in Snohomish, King or Pierce counties. Emission tests are required....
I’d Miss It All Like Hell!
Most of you have probably never heard of Cicely Fox Smith. Born in the late 1880s in England, she was a prolific poet and later, author. Her claim to fame is poems of a nautical nature, so well crafted that critics often mistook her for a sailor, referring to C. Fox Smith as a "he," not a "she." She wrote more than 600 poems in her life as well as countless books. In her time she was often considered the equal of Kipling and Masefield, but the passing of time has left her unknown to most. I am...
Weigh Hey, Blow Your Boat Up!
My life as a pirate began at the tender age of 24. But the call of the sea came many years earlier and it continues to hold me in various ways, even though I have hit the infamous double nickels age. Unlike some landlubbers I know who were called to the sea or even piracy by a Jack Sparrow movie, I came upon it far more honestly. It started in the summers of my youth, piloting my uncle's boat up in the San Juans. It would have been a perfect undertaking too, if the boat had had a sail. It...
Can Someone Get Me A Caddy?
I went shopping a few weeks ago. Yes, this is a rarity for me, as I don't typically like to shop in an environment where I may actually buy something. Send me to a local mall on a shopping mission and I will come home empty handed. Send me to a junk or antique shop and who knows what will happen? This is certainly the case in Snohomish, Washington. About a half hour northeast of my domicile, Snohomish is a mecca for shopping. There appears to be more antique shops and boutiques per square foot...
Skating On Thin Ice.
I learned recently that the Valley Drive In had closed unceremoniously last fall to make way for another retail and residential development; the continued gentrification of the Kent Valley. This is the same process that claimed Longacres oh, so long ago to make way for a Boeing training center that is now relocating to Miami. The icons of my youth continue to evaporate. In Edmonds, Robin Hood Lanes closed in May to make way for a Walgreens, as if we need more of those. The same thing happened...
Cliff Notes.
I used to have a fear of heights. A horrible fear. As a kid I would freak out when the carousel horse hit its high mark as it circled around and around. I never liked ferris wheels much either, though I must say it could be because carnies were responsible for assembling them. My fear was so great that I could whip up a good bout of vertigo when standing near the edge of any precipice. It didn't have to be a carnival ride; it could be the bleachers in back of Hazen High School. Standing on any...
Welcome Back Cotter.
A friend of mine asked recently if I knew what a cotter pin was. I guess most guys do. Apparently all women don't. Sure, they know a safety pin, a bobby pin and perhaps if they are old enough, a fraternity pin. But a cotter pin? Not sure if that's part of their daily or even lifetime lexicon. They were the lifeline of the venerable icon of male youth, the push cart. You know the kind. Find a couple pieces of wood, slap on some wheels from an old wagon, tie on a rope to steer, go to the biggest...
I’m Robbie The Sailor Man.
It's that time of year again. spring is here, the opening of Boating Day was a week or so ago, and I have the fever, boating fever. It's not that I own a boat. I don't. About as close as I come to having a boat is a ship's bell and two oars. I don't even know anyone who owns a boat right now, or even someone who knows someone else who owns a boat. Basically, I am landlocked at high tide, boatless, without even a dinghy to my name. And yet, I am still drawn to the boat show, like a fly to sh**....