RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
A Penny For Your Slots.
In 1994 I made my first trip to Las Vegas. I was going there to get hitched in pirate costume. No, the Florida caper was not my first trip down the aisle as a pirate. I seemed to have a case of "rinse and repeat" that had began 10 years before. My future ex-whatever at the time and I couldn't afford to stay at the Treasure Island resort where we would be doing the deed, the matrimonial one. The other deed was being done that night on our honeymoon at the Imperial Palace, which was also the...
On The Wagon Trail.
I stopped by my local BecMo today. It's a new liquor store in Ballard. It's supposed to compete with Total Wine for the mass merchandiser market but it's kind of dinky; well, at least this particular store is. Still, it has a nice assortment of boozilicious items, including ginger wine, which I haven't been able to happen upon in the last seven years or so, when I first tasted it in a drink called Mix Up in Port Royal, Jamaica. The drink, and I don't yet have the recipe perfected here in the...
I Fixed It Worse.
I have a certain knack. I am sure that it came to me via my dad's DNA, for he seemed to have the same skill set. We both manage to regularly break things that are working just fine. Though I am still in a bit of denial denial, this certainly appears to be the case with the toilet in the master. It had been leaking slowing for a couple weeks and I had already planned to get around to it, someday. But for some reason, someday came sooner than I expected. As I have always done in the past, I...
It Could Have Been Eventful.
Part of my duties in my new role in the state is to design the various exhibits we do overseas to promote Washington as a great place to do business. In many respects life has come full circle, since that's what I used to do when I was in the corporate world before stepping into the alluring abyss known as self-employment. None of my clients ever seemed to have a budget; certainly not enough of a budget to create the kind of marketing splash they really needed. So exhibit design took a back...
Last Out. First Born.
I am a last born. I never really got a vote in the matter. As usual, my three other brothers were ahead of me, slipping through the tunnel of love in the seven years prior to my arrival in the parking lot of McLendon's Hardware in Renton. For you Rentonites, you'll remember this is where all the children of the corn, sorry, city, came from, the old Renton General/Valley General Hospital, just a stone's throw from the Loop. As the last born, I became pretty used to not having any choices; my...
Spring Cleaning.
April is upon us once again. And in the old Zernutti household, there are the strains of anticipation and dread rising simultaneously above the chorus of our daily lives. While most people welcome the arrival of spring, we all know around here that the months of March, April and May are the time of year that I have gone through my greatest upheavals. I never really realized the extent of this pattern until a year and a half ago. As most of you know, I was still living in Florida and casting...
Hey, Pope. Let’s Be Frank.
Jorge Bergoglio hit the lottery a couple weeks ago. Imagine what it was like for him. You buy an innocent ticket to the lottery decades ago when you decide to become a priest. Along the way, you hit some scratch-offs, scoring a church and perhaps some of the perks of the office -- all the red wine you can drink and some stale bread that sticks to the roof of your mouth like glue, but aren't too bad with sardines and perhaps a little more red wine. Eventually you move up the religious food...
The Hoarder.
I have seen the show Hoarders once or twice. Quite frankly, I've always had a hard time understanding these people. I mean, who is sick enough to store all that stuff, stuff they will probably never even use, let alone remember that they have. Well, it turns out I am a hoarder, too. Not in the traditional sense, mind you. My many misadventures in amour have solved that issue, me leaving behind potential hoard caches in various locales over the years, often at a moment's notice. It's amazing...
Two-fers And Freebies.
A couple weeks ago I got a hankering for some Taco Time. If I must have fast food Mexican, it can only be Taco Time. The fresh made salsa alone is worth the trip, not to mention Mexi Fries and Soft Tacos, my personal favorites. At the window, the Taco Timian asked me if I wanted a coupon book for a buck. The coupons would save me $5 on food there. I said sure. I'm a sucker for charity. The coupon book is still sitting in my car, right where I placed it. It will undoubtedly be there long after...
Jack-Of-All What?
I am what some would call a Renaissance Man, a Jack-of-All-Trades if you will, though I have fought that description for the majority of my life. Rather than accept my fate as a Renaissance Man, I instead tell people that I know how to do a lot of useless things largely because of my inability to focus. I've learned to live with the Renaissance Man moniker over the years. Jack-of-All-Trades is O.K., but I'm not very "trade" savvy. I still can't fix my car, I suck with power tools, I can do...
I’ll Take The Chevy.
My friend has a BMW. As we know, they can be a bit finicky. When they're humming along on all cylinders, they are a marvelous thing to take for a ride. But when they're on the fritz, they are very high maintenance. Me, I never wanted a fancy ride. Sure, I'm attracted to them. You can't help but be attracted to their curvaceous lines, shiny finish and pretty smell. You can't get enough of them originally, but eventually you learn that it's only because you really wanted to look under the hood....
Umbrellas Are For The Birds (And Nannies).
It was raining in Seattle yesterday. Not that unusual, given that this is the rainy season. This particular rain event, as they are called, will soon move on to the midwest, undoubtedly spinning up into a tumult that spawns tornadoes and other such horrors never seen here in the great Northwest. Rain in Seattle is much better than rain in Florida. There, the weather gods pour buckets of the stuff from the skies around four in the afternoon, and since most Floridians don't own rain coats, you...