RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
Moron!
A couple days ago I was talking to a coworker about lost opportunities. I was telling a story about the fantastic, often crazy ideas, I would come up with for trade show exhibits. This included the cruise ship I thought up once, a 20'x40' deck of a ship, complete with wood decking, lounge, portholes and waving passengers above. Not one to let any detail slide, the theme of the cruise changed every day, as did the passenger's clothes, to match the ports of call we had sprinkled elsewhere on the...
Party! Party!
I am hardly the life of the party. Now, anyone who knows me may argue that fact because I do know how to party. And often times, I have been just a lampshade shy of being the party itself. But given the life I lead, I can also be a real wallflower. Yes, dress me up in pirate gear and Hurricane is the center of attention. But dress that same guy up in a pair of jeans and a Hawaiian shirt, and he can be a real dud, unless plied with copious amounts of wine. There are two really good reasons for...
Pirate Skool.
My last RobZerrvation reminded me of an exercise Krimson Kat and I did a few months ago. We were having a little toddy when the subject came up about what kind of advice I would give to a pirate or wench who is new to the craft. Obviously, I know nothing about being a wench, so I will let Kat handle that here at the end. Plus she's tossed so many additions into my own list that I can't tell who is who. Since we really are pretty much the same person (Katticane? HurriKat?), think of the lessons...
Yes, I Am A Pirate.
I've just returned from another weekend of pirating. No matter where I am, I have a great time doing it, largely because, well, I have a bit of a history. For those that know that history, then you know why I'm a bit different than most pirates. I don't come from a faire background. I don't even like ren faires. And I don't pirate for the social aspect of it. As such, hanging with a bunch of pirates to kumbaya together is akin to putting sharp sticks in my eyes. It's not that other pirates or...
You Can’t Touch This!
Finally, comedian Jim Gaffigin and I have something in common. Neither of us like to be touched. Now, before you go off on me and ask why Kat would ever want to be with a guy who doesn't like to be touched, let me calm your fears. Kat can touch me anywhere and anytime she wants, except when I have sicky skin. You know sicky skin; that time when you're sick and your skin is so sensitive that even your own body hair is pissing you off. I also let my friends touch me, albeit in very different...
Awe, Shucks!
When I was a kid my father took me to the airshow at the Renton airport. It was during the halcyon days of Boeing when the 727 and 737 were new and nearly ever plane that flew in the skies was made in Renton. I know. Scary thought. Even though I had not flown in a jet, nor would for another 14 years or so, I was mesmerized by all the technology. It wasn't just the commercial planes, but the military aircraft and rotocraft as well. I was, in short in complete awe. This was, after all, back in...
Chemo-stry.
It's probably no secret that as of this writing, my job is in limbo. Every two years, the legislature meets and like the election of the pope, everyone anxiously awaits for the smoke to rise from the chimney to see that we have a new state budget. In this particular budget, my department is singled out, and not in a good way. The entire state economic development budget is on the chopping block. It's only in the Senate budget at the moment, so things can change. The usual rule of thumb is that...
Um, What Was The Question Again?
There's both a good side and down side to being on your own for a long time. When it comes to working, I have been pretty much working nonstop for my entire career. I've had only one break in service, that being three months that I purposely took off during one particular summer to recharge and refocus. It's not that I just sat around during those months, lounging away on some deserted beach, catching some rays. I ended up starting a non-profit organization that summer, one of two I've founded...
I Get The Picture.
If it were up to me, I would speak entirely in analogies and word pictures. Even though I was blessed (cursed?) with an, at times, huge vocabulary that sends my friends to their online dictionaries and receives weekly plaudits from Grammarly for using more words than 95% of the population, when it comes right down to it, a simple analogy seems to do the trick. It's a good thing Kat also speaks in analogies and word pictures. Oddly, she has even reduced this art to a shorthand that can use as...
Let’s Make A Deal.
As the hours, weeks and years tick by, I often find myself looking back at my life and how it has played out so far. True, this exercise is very meaningless, as there's nothing you can do about anything that ever happened to you. Still, it's fun to do a little mental masturbation at times, if for no other reason than to see some patterns in your life, tiny threads that have tied it all together. For instance, I have always loved game shows, so much so, that I nearly tried out to be a Jeopardy...
Trumpelstiltskin.
Given that I have written Nixonocchio and Obama and the Three Scares, how can I resist another political gem from the Grimm Brothers (and no, that's not a typo this time around)? Once upon a time there was a man who was called before the King. In order to make him sound even more important than he really was, he told the King that he had a son who could spin bald-faced lies into plausible policy with ease. The King said to the man that this was indeed an art that pleased him to no end. "If...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
It's time for Mardi Gras. I admit that I have never been to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, largely because I have faithfully lived by the mantra, "Don't go anyplace where people are crazier than you." Though I haven't been to the Big Easy this time of year, it certainly doesn't mean that I don't appreciate Mardi Gras. Maybe it's the Catholic in me. Or maybe it's because once you visit New Orleans, it sticks with you. I have been there a couple of times. I really love strolling through the French...