RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
The Good Old Days?
I used to love the band Chicago. Yes, I was in my teens in the 70's and in concert band to boot. So it was natural that I would love a band that had a great horn section. They also had a string of hits that seemed to speak to me back then. I was always in love, or should I say with hindsight, lust, and those songs just hit me right in the heart (or some other piece of anatomy). One of their big hits was Old Days. It's easy to be nostalgic for the Old Days. The problem is, however, while you...
Friend or Faux?
As most of you know, I am family challenged. Thirty-five years ago, my brothers ended their relationship with me, all because I had my hand in someone else's cookie jar, a hand in jar that would lead me to divorce while I was still something of a child. Years later, I discovered I had a half brother. How cool was that, I thought? Another family. Well, long story short, half brother was not much more than a victim of a sperm donation by my dad. We had nothing in common because, well, nurture is...
True North.
I've been sailing along now in life for almost six decades. There have been many times I've been without a compass, certainly a moral compass. I've been shipwrecked, sidetracked, hornswoggled and downright lost at times. I've let others tell me where north is, well, at least the north they wanted me to sail toward and I've even let them grab my tiller a time or two and do all the steering for me. Yes, I have been a pleaser. I have done things in life largely so others will like me, be my...
The Temp Job.
One of my favorite movies is Dave. If you haven't seen it, Kevin Kline is moonlighting as an impersonator of the President of the United States, doing personal appearances in some nondescript rural town. Through an unfortunate series of event, he finds himself at The White House, standing in as the President. It's a hilarious movie. At one point, he even says one of the most amazing things about the position of President of the United States -- "Somewhere along the way, I forgot to do my job,...
What A Gimmick!
My life is one gimmick after another. I don't mean this in the negative sense of the word. I'm not talking about "a devious aspect or feature offered up so that you'll purchase something." No, I'm talking about the more classic form of gimmick: "a novel or ingenious device, something that is supposed to attract attention." In short, schtick. You can use schtick if you like, but I prefer gimmick. I just got used to the word back when I was first learning to be an entertainer. It all started...
Ugh! Neyoungerthals.
My revisionist thinking would like to believe my generation was better than the current one masking as America's youth. Of course, I don't really have to be revisionist, because we had parents who would just as soon smack us across the phase in public than watch us act like neanderthals. Manners were beaten into us, literally. Wolf down your food at dinner and you were likely to get a dog dish for a plate the next night. Treat someone with disrespect and we'd be treated to a bar of soap in...
Boozin’ Buddies.
While I don't pretend to have a solution to every malady, or worse, tragedy striking our fair land these days, I do think that this loner culture of ours may be due in part to the fact that we don't have drinking buddies like we used to. You know the type. Your drinking buddy. That guy or gal who has absolutely no other life, someone you can call at 6 and by 6:30 they are on the stool next to you at your favorite watering hole. We seem to have fewer of these in our lives these days. I...
We Are The People Our Parents Warned Us About.
The soulless armchair quarterbacks are at it again. At a time when we should be opening our hearts and questioning who we are becoming as a society, the meme merchants and soulless pundits are on the ball, seeking to drive even more wedges into our fractured society. It's not that America hasn't been fractured for decades. Democracy is messy stuff. We all seem to have a pair of dice with no pips etched in them. Yes, that's what the dots are actually called, pips. Every time something happens...
Filtered, Please.
I drove off without my headphones this morning. Yes, I was Internet-less, at least the Internet I use when I ride the bus each morning and afternoon to and from work. It's used defensively, to keep homeless people from asking for money, tourists from asking directions, and seat mates from conversing with me about anything. It's not that I can't live with the Internet. I mean, I only use my phone during my daily commutes as a glorified Walkman, either listening to Pandora or the 4,500 other...
Damnimals.
Let me start by saying I am a dog lover. I have been all my life. I have owned five wonderful dogs in this lifetime, or should I say, they owned me. Barney was such a great companion that he saw me through the tragic death of my brother. The other saw me through that other tragedy that took me to Florida. Jasper kept me high and dry even on the darkest days down there, right up until his passing. He was and is irreplaceable and I don't know if I will ever be able to have another dog. That's...
Even The Trees Do It.
I live a pretty fabulous life. We all do, really. We get to wake up every morning (God willing) and roam about this fabulous little blue ball in the cosmos. Best of all, unlike a lot of things on this planet, even other living things, we actually know we are alive. All in all, it's pretty cool. Yes, the world moves along at a pretty fast clip, at least to us. But trees? They have a complete different perspective. They don't watch CNN or follow TMZ. They just go about their day, taking in our...
On Top Of Old Fogey.
My birthday is once again on the horizon. This one will be a milestone of sorts. First, I will have outlived my father by a year as the Grim Reaper didn't bother to stop by to say an eternal hello. Second, it will be my birth year. If you know what year I was born, saw off the first two numbers and you'll know how old I am. This only happens once in your life, so it's kind of cool. It is also a bit vexing. As you grow older, you run the risk of becoming a bit of an old fogey. That means you're...