I’ll Take The Three Piece.

I’ve owned a couple homes in my time. I don’t own them anymore. I don’t even think I really ever owned them, because when you get down to it, the bank footed the initial bill and I only got a couple years into the repayment plan before something went...

Going To The Chapel, And I’m…

I know, the end of the line is “going to get married.” As we know, I’ve been down the aisle a few times in my life. I could have saved myself two of them, if I had only known what modern researchers have uncovered recently. We all know the feeling of...

Who The Hell Am I?

Every Saturday morning, I make an o’dark thirty run to downtown Seattle. It’s not something I do with great frequency. 4:30 is damned early on a weekend, but when there’s a damsel in distress, what’s one to do? Put on the slightly tainted armor...

At The End Of The Rainbow.

I used to chase rainbows. I guess I’m a bit like Dorothy Gale in the Wizard of Oz, only I don’t have a little dog, a witch isn’t chasing me (anymore), nor do I live on a dustbowl of a farm in black and white Kansas. I do, however, live in the Emerald...

A Power Trip.

I live in a relatively quiet cul-de-sac in Shoreline these days. I say relatively, because the guy who lives next door loves to talk on his cellphone outside in all weather and all times, blathering on about something or other with seeming great importance. It’s...

San Francisco, Open Your Wha?

A lot of people who know me think that I have only lived in two places – Washington and Florida. But there was a time when I lived in California, too. I had just started dating Psycho, you know, the Texas Twister. This was back when she was still a fairly normal...

The Land of Misfit Toys.

If you remember Charlie-in-the-Box, King Moonracer, Bird Fish and the train with square wheels, then you know the Land of Misfit Toys. It was always my favorite part of the animated holiday show, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. During the original version of the show,...

In The Naive-y.

I like to think that I am a somewhat rational person. A hopeless romantic, yes. But I do like to think I can see the writing on the wall and know when to hightail it out of a situation that is not working out. After all, I’ve got three ex’s painted on the...

The Lady And The Tramp.

Sunday was a lackadaisical kind of day at the old housienda. The Janmeister was packing for her annual trip to her parent’s cabin on the lake in New York and I was tasked with doing hum-drum tasks, such as putting the Washington state plates on the cars to make...

Floridashington.

I’m officially a Washington State guy again. I got my driver’s license, and I still popped back up in the system so it took a grand total of about 10 minutes to get it. It was nip and tuck fo a moment or two, because the clerk at the DMV asked me if I had...