I was watching television last night, and just before dozing off I watched one of the countless commercials pushing legalized drugs. Usually, I don’t pay much attention to these things, since I try to avoid designer drugs. The only one I’ve ever taken for any period of time was Lexapro, and we all know how that turned out. It kind of screwed up my life.
Sure, I no longer suffered from anxiety. But even on the lowest dose I became something of a non-feeling zombie. Not good. As I chronicled last year I went off them cold turkey in May and feel better than ever.
But the Abilify commercial caught my eye. If you don’t know what it is, it’s designed to be a complement to your anti-depression medicine, including Lexapro. I guess that’s what caught my attention.
Now, here’s the deal. Abilify was originally created to treat schizophrenia and later to treat irritability in children with autism. But the smart marketing folks at Otsuku (the Japanese maker) figured out that in lower doses, it could be sold to those who are already taking another anti-depression drug. Why you ask? To make more money for the drug company, of course.
If your anti-depressant isn’t working for you, you’d think you’d just have your doctor switch you to something else that might work better. But the smart Abilify people have a better idea — take another designer pill.
Now, here’s where the story gets better. As I’m watching the commercial, I notice that 90% of it is about the side effects of taking Abilify. These aren’t your everyday run-of-the-mill side effects, like a four-hour erection.
No sir. Possible side effects include an increased risk of stroke, muscle rigidity, shaking, confusion, rapid heart rate, uncontrollable movements of your face, tongue or other body parts, trouble swallowing, impaired judgment, blood cell abnormalities and seizures. Oh, and I almost forgot: Increased risk of suicide.
Isn’t that what these pills are supposed to prevent in the first place, suicide?
If I weren’t already depressed to the point that I have to take an anti-depressant, now I have to take Abilify, which can give me a stroke or seizures.
Thankfully, the side effects listed so far don’t include my penis falling off, but that may just be a matter of time.
Abilify calls itself an “add-on” therapy. Cute, huh. It is designed to work with your current medication and enhance it rather than replace it. It is also designed to rob more money from your wallet.
If you notice, Abilify is just one of the drugs on the designer market these days that are running ads that are filled with disclaimers about their side effects. Often, these are worse than the disease it treats. This includes things like Bonica, Celebrex, Crestor, Levitra, Vioxx, Zocor… the list goes on and on.
And now, pharmacy companies have discovered an entirely new category of drugs to improve your quality of life – “add-on” therapies. It’s not enough to take the one drug, you have to purchase all the accessory drugs as well. And who in America doesn’t love to accessorize?
So now you can rest easy, knowing that your anti-depressant has a companion. And it only has 22 different side effects that they make other pills to address.
Oh, there’s one more that I forgot about with Abilify: “Increased risk of death.”
That my friends, really is depressing. But I’m sure those smart folks at Otsuku will come up with a drug for that too some day.
From somewhere on the Treasure Coast,
Robb