The Mail Online ran an interesting article about sex recently. Now, I want it on the record that I am very pro-sex. I think it’s one of the coolest inventions ever, even better than the Ronco Egg Scrambler. Whoever thought of it should get a medal.
Anyone who has ever had sex (and I’m sure that is most if not all of us) will know that it can be a real pleasure sometimes. It can also be pretty crummy. Thanks to modern science, we now know why.
Now, before we get into the findings, I have to wonder who it is that these scientists studied. This was all done using an MRI. As we all know, that’s some pretty cramped quarters for just one person, let alone two. I know as soon as I hit my head while going at it, I lose all my concentration. Plus you have a bunch of researchers watching so you have more than a little performance anxiety. I think it would be akin to making love in a phone booth at the county fair, only there’s no way you get a blue ribbon here.
What did these brave or exhibitionist test subjects help researchers find?
For starters, did you know that when a woman has an orgasm 30 different parts of her brain are activated? It starts two minutes before the big moment when the reward centers are activated. Just before the peak, a woman gets all the touch messages from the body. Finally, the control part of the brain, which regulates temperature, hunger, thirst and tiredness, kicks in.
Wow! That’s a lot of stuff going on. But we’re not through yet. While this is all happening, oxytocin is released which lowers the woman’s defenses, increases her trust and causes her to bond or even fall in love after sex.
What happens in a man? We have an orgasm and want to fall asleep. Women like to blame us for this but it is not our fault. According to the researchers, a powerful male organism is equivalent to a two to three milligram shot of Valium. That is why we fall asleep. We’ve been doped!
As you can see, there’s a big disconnect here. Women require some work to have an orgasm; men get it automatically.
Unfortunately, some women I have known have faked their orgasm early in their relationships with a new guy in their life, pretending it was wonderful when it wasn’t. Then they wonder why they never get to enjoy that special little moment years later. Well, girls, you inadvertently trained your men to think that their little “moves” early on did their magic.
Men are creatures of habit. We aren’t likely to switch things up when we think something’s working for us. We’re not about to change our swing in the batter box if we think we hit home runs the first time at bat. We’re going to to go through the same motions over and over because we think we’re serving up home runs when in reality we’re just bunting.
If you want to up a man’s game, you need to improve their technique from the first time they get up up to the plate. Men can be trained, like puppies. They want to please you. But if you let them be the home run king at the opening of the season don’t expect them to take you to the World Series every night 10 years down the road. They won’t have the stuff because you never worked on the fundamentals during Training Camp.
So much for my advice to the women of this world.
Now, for you men! Don’t believe your own PR. You probably aren’t really the tiger in bed you think you are. Some women out there deserve an Oscar for their performances. Like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally, they put on a good show. They want you to feel omnipotent in the sack so you don’t go impotent on them. The truth of the matter is, a lot of girls need a little extra help in the reaching orgasm department. They often need a little do-it-yourself, if you know what I mean. This isn’t your failing, necessarily. It’s biological. A woman has a lot going on and you may not be able to hit all the right buttons in the right sequence, unless you’re an octopus. Let them be your guide. They know themselves way better than you ever could.
Why should you, you say? You already get an orgasm so who cares? If you really want to be the “bomb” in bed, nothing beats bringing a woman to a bone rattling orgasm. That is what shows your lovemaking prowess. You get an orgasm. Big deal. That takes no skill. But giving a woman one is like painting a masterpiece – it is an art form and you are the artist. And I won’t even make a joke about having a big paintbrush here.
If sex just isn’t floating your boat these days with your mate, you may want to find a new one. Think of it as staving off the ravages of time. Your affair or new relationship can be for the sake of your own health, so feel free to justify it this way.
What, you say?
Again, this isn’t me saying it, exactly. It’s the scientists again. After you turn 35, you’re losing about 7,000 brain cells a day. They are just keeling over in your noggin. But the more sex you have, the more cells you will grow. Studies have shown that sex causes new cells to grow in the hippocampus, the parts of your brain that are responsible for learning and memory. There is even some evidence that older people who are getting it on regularly are less likely to get dementia. How cool is that? So having a fling with a little zing is good for your mental health.
Now there is a great new argument for getting some.
“Honey, where are my keys, I don’t remember where I put them?”
“Sounds like you need to jumpstart your memory. Let hop in the sack,” says the husband.
And off they go, all in the interest of improving their health.
Just be aware men, that more sex is a double edged sword when it comes to women. While it can boost your brain cells of both partners, studies have shown that sex can also sharpen a woman’s mind. The release of sex hormones can greatly improve their concentration and reaction times.
They may suddenly remember that you really don’t belong to a bowling league that plays every Friday and Saturday night. And it’ll be game over for you and that brain cell building bimbo you’ve been seeing.
You can read the whole study right here.
Out on the Treasure Coast, finding it hard to concentrate on work for some reason,
– Robb