A friend asked me a couple days ago about whether I liked to play games. And while there are many in my life who would say, “oh, yes, he likes to play games with others” that’s not what I am talking about.
I’m also not talking about being a gamer. My son is one of these, he and his Xbox are inseparable and whenever he visits me, there is non stop military campaigns, zombie hunts and car stealing in my living room.
I truly marvel at these games. My first exposure to video games was a Sears knockoff of Pong. I would spend hours playing this game, so it would be logical that I would be mesmerized by its ancestors. They’re fine, but there’s too much strategy to consider and I am not a strategy gamer. I just want to shoot stuff, like I did with Asteroids or Space Invaders.
The same is really true with board games. Board games, you say? The guy who lives a digital life likes to go analog in the game world? Well, I do. But only certain ones. As with video games, I don’t like strategy, at least complex strategy.
Let me give you an example. I love to play games like Cranium and Trivial Pursuit. These require a lot of smarts and creativity. Yes, there is some strategy involved. In Trivial Pursuit, you need to fill the pie with the wedges to have a chance to win. Simple enough. But it’s not like Stratego, which is absolutely maddening to me.
I don’t like Monopoly either. Not one little bit, even if you give me the little metal battleship or Scottie dog. The reason is simple. People play this game to win. I know. That’s the reason you play games, to win. But I don’t like to win at all costs.
Case in point. When my last ex-whatever and I played Monopoly, she would immediately buy up Park Place and Boardwalk and then build all the houses and add the requisite hotels. By the time I was on my fourth turn around the board, my days were numbered. Eventually I would land on one of those two spaces and I would lose all my money. She would then lord this over me, as if she really was some kind of real estate tycoon.
I finally found my own strategy in Monopoly. We would start off and I would land on a space. I wouldn’t buy it. She would then pony up the money. I would go again and not buy the next one. Nor the next, or the next. I wouldn’t buy anything. I would just collect my $200 and move on. This would drive her crazy, because I wasn’t playing the game the way it she wanted me to play it. I just thought that I was using my time more prudiciously, moving as quickly to the ultimate end of the game where I lose. So much more productive.
There was a time in my own youth that I was all about winning, too. In fact, there is a legendary time when I threw a Parcheesi game across the room because the 10 year old I was playing against had blocked my elephants with her camels. I know this is part of the strategy. But she wasn’t using strategy. She just didn’t really understand how to play the damned game. So I increasingly got frustrated and well, I lost it.
This doesn’t happen anymore. I am a great sport when it comes to playing board games. I still play Parcheesi, by the way. I like the required strategy. Not so much that it consumes you, like Monopoly, and there’s no money or adding to do, which greatly enhances the game. I don’t play to win. If I do, terrific, and I am very graceful about it, mostly because it’s always a surprise.
I also found out one time that I was really good at Texas Hold ‘Em. We were appearing at a bar in Sanford once and they had a little tourney going. It was all for chips, no money. All the pirates sat down at the table. We all ante’d up, as did the regulars who were vying for a place in the state tournament. After losing a hand or two, I shifted into Monopoly mode. I just started bluffing, often wildly. One time I don’t even think I had two matching cards and went all in. I won. Another, I put my hand down and yelled “Yatzee!” I continued with my odd strategy, betting a little on a good hand and a lot when I had nothing to show. It kept working. One by one, everyone at the table retired as their chips found their way to the pirate’s growing pile. Finally, I was declared the evening’s winner. I even got a certificate that would take me to the regionals in Orlando.
The regulars were totally freaked out that this pirate would clean them out. What they didn’t know is that I knew nothing about Texas Hold ‘Em. I didn’t know what they meant by the river or the flop or that any of these cards formed a winning hand. I was just really good at bluffing. Not because of any real skill, but because I didn’t know what I was doing. It was just a game, and who cared about the outcome.
Well, I discovered with the ex-whatever and the Texas Hold ‘Em gang that some people do care about the outcome. And maybe that’s the problem. They call it a game for a reason. It’s supposed to be fun. If it’s isn’t, they would call all these colorful boxes in the toy store “work” instead and nobody would buy them. I really don’t understand the “win at all cost mentality.” It just doesn’t work for me.
I wish more people would play games with me instead of playing games with me. Either way, know that I don’t really care if I win. But if you do care and you think you’re going to do win at all cost, know that I’m on to you. You will always be left wondering if you won because of your great skill and gaming prowess or because I was just screwing with. And that my friends, is the best game of all.
Out on the Treasure Coast, seeing if I roll a double to get out of jail free,
– Robb