Before I ever flew on an airplane, I naively thought that there were actually lines marking the borders of the states. Imagine my surprise on my first flight when I couldn’t tell by looking down at the ground that I had left Washington and entered Idaho.
I guess that’s what happens when you’re isolated up in the corner of the continental U.S. You get a skewed version of the way the world is. That’s not to say that it’s a bad version. In some respects, I wished I had never left the relative comfort of understanding everything about the place I lived instead of moving to the other side of the country where nothing makes sense still.
But circumstances did indeed take me on a journey elsewhere, first on a month-long sojourn to the Bay Area many years ago and then to Florida seven years ago.
It was during the latter relocation that I came to realize that states can be very different from one another and still manage to be “united” states. While they may not have big wide borders that can be seen from the air, you definitely know when you’ve crossed the borderline because the cultural differences are so great.
I noticed this almost immediately when I came to Florida. We were supposed to do an event at a local bar – yes, the old pirating thing. My son had come down to be with me that summer – he was 6. I told the owner that I would love to do the event, but that I had a minor son with me and I couldn’t exactly leave him home. She looked at me oddly and said, “You can bring him along, you know.”
Well, I didn’t know. Where I came from you can’t bring a minor into a bar. A restaurant with a bar attached, sure, but not a true bar. I definitely wasn’t in Kansas anymore.
Now, I’m not about to jump aboard the morality wagon and argue whether this is right or wrong, but it does seem to make sense. Why can’t you take a kid into a bar in Washington? In many states this is normal, including of course, tourism central, Florida. Maybe if you had your kid next to you at the bar you would’t take that trailer tramp home with you at closing time or booze it up to the point where you can only point at the tap when you want another beer, because you’re beyond slurring.
I only mention this because yesterday the voters of Washington State finally got the state out of the liquor business. If I recall, we have tried to do this at least a dozen times in the past and no one was going for it. While Costco dumped a lot of money into the campaign and everyone says they bought the election, I think voters just finally came to their senses and got the message.
What message? Well, here’s what has always bothered me. As the sole seller of hard liquor, the State of Washington has a vested interest in selling as much liquor as it can to its citizenry. It brings in much needed tax revenue to the state.
But the state also has the right and obligation to arrest citizens who enjoy the products they sell just a little too much and put them into jail, fine them, seize their cars — what have you.
It’s a double edge sword that has never made sense to me. It never will, but thankfully, it doesn’t matter anymore.
That is the beauty of Washington State, though. It is always a contrast of values and mores. It can be hip as hell with the grunge culture, coffee culture and microbrew culture, but be an old fogey in other areas, such as liquor laws.
Now, I know that some of my Washington friends will argue that underage drinking will be rampant and that emergency rooms will be filled with accident victims. These were the cornerstones of the opposition’s campaign.
But I can safely say that none of this has happened here in Florida where all the liquor stores are privately owned. Many are just small shops owned by an average guy in the community. Others, like Total Wine, are the Costcos of booze – 8,000 wines, 2,000 hard liquors and 1,000 beers. Half the time I don’t know whether I should go there to buy something or put a small rug down on the floor instead and pray to the booze gods in what certainly has to be Mecca.
We even have drive thru liquor outlets attached to bars. There’s one just down the street from me. I personally don’t use them because I never know what I want and the pressure to place an order with cars lined up behind me is just too much pressure. It’s like trying to take a whiz at a sporting event with 10 guys lined up behind me at the urinal. It ain’t going to happen, even if I’m thinking Snoqualmie Falls at the time.
Yet, we don’t have drunks all over the roads. We have very tough DUI laws. Teens still score their booze the way we used to – get an adult to buy it for them or simply sneak it out of mom’s liquor stash when she’s away.
What we do get, however, is a free market. Different stores can stock different items, so you can find your favorites, even if they are a rarity. Part of this is made possible by not having to go through distributors who control the market artificially and decide what will be available.
Case in point. When I was in Oregon last year, I fell in love with Rogue’s Hazelnut Rum. It’s fairly easy to find in Oregon, and perhaps even in Washington. But here in Florida? Impossible.
Except for Ray’s Liquors. It is attached to a bar as well here in Fort Pierce. It’s been there since the 1950s. It’s not a pretty place by any stretch. But they have carved a helluva niche for themselves because they carry liquors you can’t find anywhere else.
And if they don’t have it, they will find it for you. When I first asked about the Rogue rum, they had never heard of it. But lo and behold, five months later, I got a call from the clerk there. They had purloined a bottle directly from Rogue, along with their Pink Gin and their other rums. It had my name on it.
Now that Washington has joined the world of free market enterprise, don’t worry too much about the Costcos of the world taking over the market. I think you’ll be surprised how many stores will open that cater to the connoisseurs of fine and potentially rare liquors rather than to the booze hounds that want a half gallon of vodka for $10. And I’m sure that all those soon to be unemployed clerks in state owned liquor stores will easily find employment in the estimated 1,428 stores set to open next year.
Fear not my fellow Washingtonians. You will come to love the new world order up there. I’ve been to the mountaintop, and I have seen the promised land. And it is all good.
Out on the Treasure Coast, raising a toast to my friends in Seattle out on the beach, “go cup” in hand,
– Robb