I am a big believer in signs. No, not the ones on the side of the road that say “No Outlet” or other useless instructions designed for the morons of the highways and bi-ways of America as well as the union workers paid to paint them.
I’m talking about the signs that direct us where we should be in our lives.
In my own life, the signs began to appear in September. I innocently scheduled a trip to Seattle as you may remember. That trip was a real eye opener for me, largely because I was caught off guard by my reactions to it.
My first day there I went to the Pike Place Market on a gorgeous day, the kind the chamber of commerce dreams about. When I left, I headed to my friend Cassie’s house in Ballard. As I turned the corner to head north, I saw the Space Needle in front of me. I burst into tears. I bawled for 20 minutes, all the way to her house.
Something was unresolved, obviously. I went back again in November and then January, really splitting my time between here and there. On each visit it became clearer that I really missed home.
Now, that’s not enough of a sign to get me to do something crazy like move 3,000 miles back to Seattle. I did that once in the other direction, and believe me, it’s not easy to uproot your life and move it to the other side of the country.
But other signs started to appear, ones I could no longer ignore.
I can’t really go into them all because some of them involve people I know in Florida, many whom I still really like and respect. They didn’t do anything to me, mind you. Our respective paths just started to diverge and head on separate courses. It happens. It’s life.
And while the disconnect was happening there, a reconnect was happening with my friends in Seattle. Not just a reconnect, but a renaissance. It’s hard to describe, but I can only say that key people there were thrilled at the prospect of me returning to the Pacific Northwest while some people in Florida didn’t really care if I stayed or not.
Things were changing in general in Florida. But again, it was no one’s fault. I learned a long time ago that “we move towards what we think about.” The world doesn’t have it in for us, unless that’s how we view our world. We create our own own future… we dream it, believe it with our heart and soul, and it manifests itself as reality, not always as we envision it, but we do make our dreams come true.
So, the signs began to point to a change of course. It started with little things. Something someone said, a project that fell through in CommuniCreations, an invite that didn’t come to something we should be invited to. Even the one thing that I looked forward to most each year, Pirates in Paradise, was a bit of a dud this year for me.
The world around me wasn’t changing. My world was changing. More rapidly than I ever could have imagined, too.
For example, I started sending out resumes again early last year. Initially, it was just to Florida firms. Not a single bite. Then in September I sent a few initial resumes to Seattle. I was spending a lot of time there, so I thought what the hell, let’s see what happens.
A lot, I can tell you. And quickly at that. The stars began to align almost immediately. The signs became clear. One of the most telling signs was that Pirates in Paradise went on hiatus, Julie and I just didn’t have the desire to have the life sucked out of us once again trying to make this thing happen against all odds, only to have people on the sidelines bitch and moan about the whole thing. It was and is a thankless job that is thankfully, finito.
It’s funny when the signs start to happen. Over the last six months, it’s been a bit of an out of body experience for me, like I was merely a spectator when it came to life here in Florida, not a participant. I increasingly felt alive in the wild, wooly Northwest and less alive in the tropical sun.
The final sign came last month. It was clear that my desire to return to Seattle was becoming reality. I was offered the chance to take a wonderful position as marketing manager, working with some absolutely amazing people, building a program from the ground up. It was a once in a lifetime chance and I wasn’t going to let it pass me by.
Yes, it’s a change. Kind of a big one. The mounds of boxes that have surrounded me is a testament to that.
And the signs continue to point the way. Loud and clear. Things keep falling into place, almost magically once you decide to believe in a future you want. On the merry-go-round that is life, I get the brass ring. I get to go home. I get to take Jan with me. I get to leave the horrendous nightmare of love gone wrong behind. I get to spend time with some of my oldest and dearest friends again. I not only get to fall in love with Seattle all over again, but help Jan fall in love with it too.
I won’t argue with anyone that the weather here in Florida is better than in Seattle. Yes, it’s cloudy a lot. It rains. It’s cold in the winter. But I’ve learned that paradise doesn’t only come with palm trees, endless beaches and 2 for 1 margaritas. Paradise is that place that fills your heart, warms your soul, makes your imagination soar and ignites your passion to embrace life and live it to its fullest. And I’ve found it once again.
Back where I belong again and about damned time,
– Robb