I had an ex once who didn’t eat fish. She said it was too cannibalistic, since she was a Pisces. She would only eat meat.
Self-limiting I thought, especially when it really makes it pointless to order a Surf & Turf for a special occasion. She could only have Turf. There could only be, forever, Turf.
To me, that’s a lot like saying, I only eat vanilla. Sure, I might go a little out of my comfort zone and eat French vanilla on occasion. But forget chocolate, and certainly I’ll never try spumoni.
Long, long ago, I was like my ex. I only liked American food. But then a friend of mine, Cassie, insisted that we go wild one night. She took me out for Chinese. I had never been to a Chinese restaurant before, but as you know, when you’re dating a girl, you’ll try anything in order to get some, well, you know, dessert, at the end of the night.
I let her order off the menu. When the dish arrived, I must have looked visibly shaken. “It’s hot bean curd,” she replied. I resisted, I whined, I balked. “Try it, you’ll like it.”
I finally gave in and tried it. I didn’t like it at first, but then found out that it was pretty damned yummy. And so began my adventures in eating. Within no time I was dining on Indian and Thai, Russian, Japanese, Dim Sum, sushi — even the sushi with the eggs on it.
Within a few short months, my culinary world had become a rainbow of nationalities. And then I discovered the buffet. Not the questionable Golden Corral kind of buffet with the $3 all-you-can-eat mystery meat. No, we’re talking about a Chinese buffet with 200 different choices, from fresh sushi and Mongolian Grill to General Tsao’s Chicken and even some rare Mandarin delicacies. And just for good measure, for those not entirely fond of Chinese, roast beef, ham and an assortment of other American dishes.
Who would eat anywhere else, I thought? I could be conservative, eating only at steak houses, or I can be a died in the wool liberal and only eat at a seafood grill.
With the buffet, I no longer had to torture over a limited menu and choose the same ol, same ol. No sir, I could explore, mix it up a bit and perhaps if I was lucky enough, create the meal that memories are made of.
I don’t know about you, but I think everything in life should be buffet. Some things actually are, I guess. If you go to DisneyWorld, you can choose four different parks, and within each you can explore entirely different worlds. Why, in the Magic Kingdom alone, I can go to Fantasyland, Frontierland, Main Street U.S.A., Tomorrowland, Adventureland and Liberty Square, all in a single day.
Now, granted, I could stay all day in Adventureland. In fact, I could spend all day just riding the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. My friend could decide that he only likes Fantasyland and get pukey sick on the tea cups.
This is fine with me, of course. But it’s a lot more fun when we mix it up and visit every part of the theme park. Or even more than one theme park in the same day with a Park Hopper. Sure, we always vote to go on our favorites. But then we come to agreement on others we should try. We mix it up. Like a buffet.
For me, the political world is a buffet, too. I vote all over the place. I’ve voted for unpopular and entirely unelectable Democrats, I’ve thrown the switch for highly popular charismatic Republicans, I;’ve voted for a Liberatarian or two, and perhaps even a far right leaning born again. I know I voted for an Independent or two, even one for president.
I like being in the buffet line. And I’m unapologetically pro buffet. In stark contrast to my non-seafood eating ex, I won’t just limit my choices. I can’t just do vanilla. And I can’t just do Democrat or Republican.
I know the buffet can have a high price. For example, when I moved to Florida, the Driver’s License person asked my which way I swung. I looked aghast. We didn’t have to pick in Washington. I asked her if I can choose none of the above.
She politely explained that if I did that, I couldn’t choose what the featured dishes were. I could only choose from the dishes others had already selected, be they delicious or disastrous.
I told her that was O.K. I was good with just having the buffet. And while I realized that I would no longer be able to choose what kind of meat or fish was featured, I could still choose between whether I wanted the meat or fish. I didn’t have to only dine on meat for the rest of my life when what I really wanted was fish. And if I didn’t like the meat or the fish, I could have salad. Or soup. Or…
As I said, I love the buffet. I only have one small complaint these days. I wish the chefs could prepare better dishes. I think we’ve had some real crappers on the menu lately. They’re giving me indigestion.
Trying to decide what I should have for breakfast out here on the Treasure Coast,
– Robb
I now present the original opening in it’s unedited version for your edification:
I had an ex once who didn’t eat fish. She said it was too cannibalistic, since she was a Pisces. She would only eat meat. That would be akin to me saying I was a Gemini so I won’t eat twins. And we know that’s certainly not the case.