You know that I know all about The Big Day. Yes, that Big Day. You’ve been through it at least once. I’ve been through it a few times more than many, but perhaps not as many as some.
I even looked it up a couple days ago. It seems that one out of six Americans go through it every year. Some even look forward to it. Others, well, they’d rather have a root canal.
I don’t blame them. The Big Day always seems to gets the old flood of emotions going, from nervous jitters and unbearable stress to waking up in the middle of the night screaming for your mommy to take you all away from this.
But you already said “yes,” so what do you do? Do you change your mind at the last minute and head for the door? Do you pack your stuff up stealthily in the middle of the night and leave a note, breaking your love’s heart?
Or do you just bite the bullet and do the deed, even if it’s going to get a bit nasty in between the “yes” and The Big Day.
The Janmeister has been going through this right now. In fact, I think she wonders sometimes why she ever said yes. And she wasn’t even drunk.
I still remember the day I popped the question. I didn’t get down on my knee, because I think I was still in shock at the events that had led up to this moment. As she walked through the door, I laid it on her.
“Will you move with me?”
She didn’t even hesitate with an answer. “Yes!” she said. “I will move with you.”
I don’t think it really sunk in what that would mean. We weren’t moving across the street, across town or even across the state. We were going about as far as you can possibly go – Fort Pierce, Florida to Seattle. The only way I could have improved on the plan was to move first to Key West and then relocate to Bellingham.
But I don’t like to grandstand. Seattle was far enough.
I had already been splitting my time between the flat in Fort Pierce and my old hometown, so much so that I often didn’t know where I actually was one month to the next. Seattle was pulling harder and harder and then all the stars aligned and wham – it was time to make a move, literrally.
Eventually it hit the Janmeister that there was a lot of work to do. I’m sure she’s not thrilled with having to lose weight. Especially when she has to get down to 5,000 pounds by April 26.
I know, that’s a lot to ask for a Mover to Be. No wonder she’s stressed. I can’t say that I blame her. But if she doesn’t whittle away those extra pounds The Big Day is going to cost us a pretty penny.
Speaking of pretty pennies, I can tell you that finding a hall to rent is damned near impossible in Seattle. We have all these gifts packed up in boxes in Florida waiting to be reopened after The Big Day and we don’t have a rental hall to put them in. We thought we had one in Seattle, a nice three floor rental. But some other Movvied Couple snatched it up before we could get it. More on that later.
That’s probably the Janmeister’s biggest worry. She’s afraid that all those gifts are going to get loaded on the truck next week and we’re not going to have a hall to open them back up in. The Big Day will have come and gone, but the honeymove isn’t going to be pleasant if we’re ripping open the cardboard boxes to make an improvised home instead.
As any couple knows, The Big Day can really test your relationship. I know that a few days ago I went a little Movezilla on the Janmeister. She has her heart set on a really nice hall and I warned her that we may have to settle for something that accommodates fewer guests. She suggested that I should be the first to be taken off the guest list. As I said, Movezilla.
Things are better know. We finally realized that eventually The Big Day will come, sooner than we both thought it would. It won’t be perfect. There will be horrible headaches to deal with.
And like all Big Days, someone will end up getting too drunk (my guess it will be in a vein effort to get below 5,000 pounds), someone else will make a snide comment, something will get broken, a fight will break out in the middle of the reception, sides will be taken, and someone won’t be getting any nookie that night.
Wait, I thought we were talking about moving. This sounds more like my last wedding. I am so confused.
In the Emerald City, wondering if the Janmeister has changed her mind,
– Robb