Watching Glee last night, the episode where they bid farewell to their overdosed friend and fellow actor, I was struck about the significance of the lowly “-“.
Yes, a dash. A simple line that exists between a beginning and an end. The start and end of our lives that is marked by the dates of our birth and death. There’s a now famous poem about this dash. You can read it in its entirety here.
It’s funny how such a simple, seemingly meaningless dash can mean so much, for in truth, it represents all the time that exists between two dates, the start and the finish of a life. It can be an extremely long period for some, all too short for others. And yet the dash remains the same length, forever connecting our sometimes accidental beginning with our unavoidable end.
As I thought about this little piece of punctuation it occurred to me that we are really missing out when we say to someone, often in a snarky tone, “Have a nice life.” Not only should we change our tone, but perhaps we should be saying “Have a nice line” instead.
One of my favorite songs to sing is one probably no one has ever heard except me and really diehard fans of Peter, Paul and Mary. It’s called 75 Septembers. The basic premise: If we live to be 75, we only get 75 of anything – a September, a Christmas, a May 28th… that’s it.
That just blows my mind. As someone who has had 55 Septembers come and go already, I would only get 20 more if I live to be 75. Hopefully I’ll get a lot more, but it’s a pretty safe bet I’m past the halfway point here and there are fewer Septembers to come than have already passed.
It’s easy to beat one’s self up for those wasted days, weeks or even months that we don’t get back. We can live the rest of our days filled with longing for those elusive better days that we like to romanticize about or curse other days that have seemingly been the ruin of our lives.
Lord knows, I have made something of a pastime of rolling in the shit of my past here in my RobZerrvations. I have been both cursed and blessed to remember large chunks of my life in full widescreen Technicolor. I have chronicled much of it for all the world to see: the good, the bad and the ugly.
And yet, I have no regrets about that line between beginning and end that has been etched in stone so far. I can’t change any of it. I don’t think I would if I could anyway because it’s brought me right to where I am now.
Thankfully, it’s not a straight line. When I mentioned the line between those dates, a friend of mine said (in her usual, brilliant way) that we should be thankful that this line is never truly a straight line.
I think I’m going that the one on my tombstone be made jagged, not straight. It really needs to be more representative of the journey, as its never really a straight one, is it?
It certainly hasn’t been for me. I have been on a roller coaster of adventure since I was a child. Some of the dips, twists and turns were of my own making; others were crafted or dictated by others. It definitely has not been a straight line by any means.
So the question begs, what are we going to do with that line. Is it going to truly be a straight one from beginning to end, one filled with little to no risk, no bold adventures and no misguided decisions that in hindsight appear to be the dumbest thing we’ve ever done?
Or is it going to be jagged, one characterized by moments of two steps forward and three steps back, classic miscalculations, ill-timed moments, epic failures, all balanced by stunning successes, great decisions, lasting memories and true happiness, love, peace and harmony.
Me? I’m going with the second choice here. Some have said that I’ve already had enough adventure for two or three people in my life, so why not settle down a bit?
The reason? That word “settle.” I am not wired to settle for anything. While it is true that I would love to settle down and find my happily ever after (who wouldn’t like that?), I can’t settle for a mundane life where I never reach out – no matter how ill advised – for that elusive brass ring. I still believe I can have it all, that the best is yet to come and that all my trials, tribulations and travails of the past have built that jagged foundation that I stand upon today, still filled with optimism, not only about my future, but the future of others and even this world.
I will continue to “have a nice line” for as long as I draw a breath. I will continue to put the darker days behind me, yes, visiting them on occasion to remind me where I’ve been, but focusing on those days ahead of me instead of those that are behind. As Jimmy Buffett once wrote, the “yesterday’s are over my shoulder, so I can’t look back for too long; there’s just too much to see waiting in front of me. And I know that I just can’t go wrong.”
Go forth and create your own jagged line, the one between your start and the finish that is out there somewhere in the future. As far as we know, we only get one chance at this dance and even though we will never master the steps, we can still enjoy mixing it up out on this dance floor we call our life.
Make it up as you go, dance as if no one is watching, and make sure that line, the one that marks the space between the beginning and the end, is a crooked as possible, because that is what life is truly about. It’s was never about the start, it’s certainly not about the end, it’s only about the journey we take in the dash.
In the Emerald City, making my moments count,
– Robb