It’s funny how the journey that is our life contains so many signs. Some of them are warning signs, meant to convince us that a certain path is not one we want to take. Still, we like to ignore them, figuring that by shear willpower and want alone we can alter the course of our destiny. We can’t, and eventually we find ourselves bitch slapped by the universe for staring it in the face and ignoring the signs it so thoughtfully placed along the way.
At other times, we have signs that simply guide us. These guideposts are meant to show us the way to better fortunes, happier times and greater rewards. Unfortunately, we don’t always take heed of them either. There are reasons for that. Sometimes we are not yet ready to embark on that journey. We don’t have the right equipment to successfully navigate the course or sustain us while we travel down that particular path. At other times, we simply don’t see the signs, even if they are all around us, blinking like a neon sign outside of a two-bit hotel room.
I have seen these signs. Both kinds. There were plenty of warning signs telling me that I shouldn’t have gone to Florida. I only saw them near the end of my journey there, shining like the North Star, telling me that it was time to go home. My friends tell me that they were there before I left, warning me not to leave. But I didn’t see them, for I was blinded by forces that I wanted to believe were out of my control, even though I knew deep down that this was not the case at all.
There was a reason for this. Yes, signs. The first sign actually came into my view a year into my Florida misadventure. It arrived by way of an application to join my pirate group. Unfortunately, this particular wench (she went by the name Red-Handed Jill back then), was in Washington and I was in Florida. Too bad, Krimson Kat would have been a great addition to the group back then.
Signs continued to pop up now and then in the intervening years. Kat and I would engage in verbal fencing on various sites, an intellectual game that was both fulfilling and bewitching, a little cat and mouse play that was delightfully fun.
It wasn’t until a year ago, January 2013, that a major signpost appeared. We had finally met in the real world a couple months before, but on this particular evening in Ocean Shores, someone asked us to pose for a photo. We obliged. Or should I say, we tried. It took 15 tries before we could look into one another’s eyes.
I didn’t think much of it at the time. I was at another stage in my life, and wasn’t really looking for any signs.
And yet, they kept showing up. I must profess that I only recognize them now that I can look backwards, knowing what I know now. Other people were seeing the signs all along I guess. We were the last to see them.
It was the only way it could be, I was in another relationship. I wasn’t about to cross any lines, and neither was she. Even if the signs had smacked us squarely on the forehead, we chose not to follow them.
Well, that’s not entirely true. We did have one fantastic kiss when I found myself newly single that rattled both of us to the core. It was our first kiss, and in the history of firsts, I don’t think there was a better first kiss. It was other worldly, heavenly and all-telling.
Still, we ignored what was now an obvious sign. Well I ignored it. I had one last trip to take down a wrong path. Thankfully, more signs appeared about three months into the journey, and my fellow sojourner and I realized that neither of us wanted to be on this particular path, parting ways in almost clinical fashion, a good sign that neither of us was interested in going a single step further.
I don’t regret this trip down the wrong path. When you finally heed the signs, timing is everything. It’s as important as seeing the signs in the first place, because without proper timing you can’t venture down the path with any hope of success because you’ll more than likely run into obstacles that you are unable to overcome.
Suffice it to say that the final signs fell in place right at the right time. On that particular night, the signs were so obvious that everyone in the room we were in could see them plain as day. We knew they were there, too. But there was one final piece of the puzzle that had to occur – we both had to agree to head down that path together.
I’m not going to go into great detail about that moment. It’s very private and even though I blather on about my life, often in the rawest of ways, I’m not going to offer up the juicy details.
What I will say is that we finally heeded the signs. In a moment that left me shaking uncontrollably, I finally poured out my heart and told the girl that I always wanted but thought I could never have how I felt. Yes, this seemingly suave, piratey guy who always seems to know the right thing to say was reduced to a stuttering pile of mush without a single wall to protect his little heart.
It too was a sign. What’s more, the timing was perfect to finally follow all of the signposts that had been showing us the way all along. Where will they lead? We don’t really know. While there are signs, there’s no real map to follow. We have to make one up as we go along. What I do know is that it will be a journey for the ages because in stark contrast to past expeditions, this adventure is still filled with signs, ones that only we can see, ones that will guide us hopefully to a place neither one of us ever thought possible, a lasting, loving place of untold beauty and splendor that is uniquely ours.
In the Emerald City, following the signs and even stopping to ask directions for a change,
– Robb