Facebook is a wonderful thing. It’s fun to go back in time to see what you thought, read what you said, and occasionally realize that you were totally out of your mind, spewing a string of nonsensical or banal B.S. that should have completely ended all life as we know it here on earth.
I have been on Facebook since 2007. I know, a fairly early adopter. I had sensed the winds of change back when I was on MySpace. You remember that site. It was like Facebook Light. I saw that a couple of my “Friends” there were migrating over to Facebook. At the same time, some of my clients were asking me about this “Facebook thing” so I took the plunge.
My first official post (at least as far as the records Facebook saved) says, Robb Zerr… is naked under his clothes right now.” That was Nov. 10, 2008 and for the record, I am still naked under my clothes at this very moment. Nothing has changed.
Well, nothing has changed in that regard. Plenty has changed in the intervening years. True to my once chameleon nature, I posted on Nov. 13 that I was “still relishing the artistic nature of Celtic Thunder.” I have no idea what that means or why I actually went to a Celtic Thunder concert. Oh, yes I do. And it wasn’t because I was a fan of five men in skirts.
I can only assume I was completely out of my mind, largely because the following posts were equally odd, me convincing myself that I was still happy in a train wreck of a relationship that was heading south in two respects – one directional, and the other emotional.
By June I was bragging about sharing my bed with a dog. And no, this was not related to the southbound relationship mentioned above. Rather, it was about rescuing a dog from the Bahamas, Gilligan.
Change seems to come at a breakneck pace on Facebook, years compressed into a few strings of posts and photos. I have edited these over the years so they are to my liking. As a writer I like the fact that I can edit my life so easily online. Photos were deleted, others were hidden, and misguided posts totally eliminated, largely because they have proven irrelevant in this record of my life.
Then there are the famous things that I say that are full-on stupid in hindsight. Famously stupid. Gold medal stupid. Like the fact that I was looking forward to contra dancing. That was never the case, not even the first time. I was just sitting in the passenger seat of my life at the time, letting someone else drive me around for a while before it drove me crazy.
As a writer who gets paid to say exactly what he means in his words, you’d think I would choose my words more carefully, especially as I drag my life around in the mud and muck of Facebook. Thankfully, I don’t bitch and moan much on the site. I also don’t post about how sick I am or what those moments when I am sad and dejected. I’m just not a whiner. Contrary to some people’s perceptions, I don’t post a lot about what is actually going on in my life either. Some of my posts are simply legerdermaine, slight of hand to draw you away from what is really going on.
It is, after all, a writer’s right. Fictional fact and factual fiction as singer Jimmy Buffett refers to it. A jumble of thoughts, some true, some not, designed to entertain, not necessarily enlighten.
Occasionally, I am almost prophetic. In 2010, I proposed that states that legalized pot should compete in the Ganja Bowl, preferably in a domed stadium to enhance halftime enjoyment. The recent Super Bowl came close, so close (but not in the final score – ahaha!).
Others are fairly pathetic. I must have been crazy when I responded to a post about blonde Oreos. I said, “I prefer brunettes.” Hardly the case. I, in fact, have always had a thing for blondes, but they haven’t seemed to return that favor, at least until recently.
Thank God for the “Edit” post function on Facebook. I have been able to edit out some of these legendary errors, either in what I said or who I said it to. Facebook is very forgiving in this regard. With a little detective work and patience, you can wipe out entire segments of your life – people you thought you were crazy for, people who just turned out to be crazy, places you lived and certainly things you said in the heat of a moment.
Some people say you can’t change the past. Well, you can on Facebook. It’s not that I have anything to hide, certainly not from the woman I am madly in love with now. She’s already read both of my books, knows all of my dents, dings and disastrous twists and turns that is my life (and then some), and for some reason, still loves me just the way I am. Why? I don’t know. I haven’t seen a Facebook post on it yet. 🙂
After several hours of work, however, my online life is looking pretty darned good. I can fly right through it and never get caught in a “What was I thinking?” moment. Well, there is still that post about the artistry of Celtic Thunder. Sure, I could have deleted it. But I like to think it keeps me honest, recognizing that at some point in the future, I will undoubtedly let history repeat itself and draw another idiotic line in the sand, once again opening mouth and inserting foot.
In the Emerald City, keeping my mouth shut for the moment,
– Robb