A couple days ago Kat and I were watching The Five People You Meet In Heaven. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a great movie. You want to be in a good mood when you watch it because for a large part of the movie, it’s a bit of a downer, largely because Eddie (played by John Voight) thinks his life has been a complete waste.
One of the cool things you learn about in the movie is that we’re all connected. We meet certain people for a reason here. We’re all on this big blue ball to give something to someone else.
To get to your own place in heaven, you have to meet five people who either touched your life or you touched theirs. There’s no way around it, no passing GO! to collect your personal slice of heaven without meeting these five people.
Only five. Now there’s a challenge. Think about it for a moment. You may meet thousands of people in your lifetime, tens of thousands if you’re a pirate entertainer. Who would these five people be?
I’ve thought long and hard about this, at least 10 minutes. They don’t have to be a relative, which is a good thing, because if my siblings should pass before me, I don’t exactly want some of them to be the Welcome Wagon at the Pearly Gates.
Except Jon. If you haven’t been following the bouncing ball that is my life, Jon perished in a skydiving accident, checking into the big hotel in the sky at the age of 24. I would hope he would be the first person I get to meet, largely because I’m sure he would know all the ins and outs of life in heaven. He probably knows everyone too. At the very least, I’m sure he would introduce me to Elvis.
I would hope my father would be there to meet me, too. There was so much unsaid in our life together and being a bit older and wiser, I would like to tell him that he did a good job raising me, even though he faced a lot of personal and health issues during his time here on earth. I resented him for some of it, as we had to struggle a lot when I was a kid. Growing up poor is never fun, nor is having a father who was always bedridden or in the hospital. A summer afternoon game of catch isn’t much fun when there’s no one to throw the ball back.
I don’t really want to meet my grandfather. I never understood him when he was alive and I’m pretty sure he’s still speaking in tongues up there – his special brand of unintelligible German. I would, however, like to meet my other grandfather, so that would be number 3. He had a stroke the week I was born and never lived long enough to meet me. Given that I seem to take after him in many respects (I still have my hair and am taller than the rest of my family), I would like to finally get to meet him.
I’m going to cheat on #4 a bit. I would love to see Weaver Dial, Bourbon Jack, Barney Moore, Tommy Chase and Curly Haviland again. They taught me how to be the pirate entertainer that I am today.
Weaver was a one of a kind. I’m sure he’s having a lot of fun up there in heaven and has already bedded every angel he could find. That’s fine with me, as I already found my angel here on earth.
Tommy was a great flute player and I’d like to hear what the University of Washington fight song, Bow Down to Washington, sounds like on the harp. Barney, well, undoubtedly he’s already shot tons of video for me to watch, interspersed with his hilarious asides and unexpected shots of naked women cavorting. Not sure if that’s allowed in heaven, but if it is, Barney will have already spliced it in.
Curly and Bourbon? Well Curly would have invites to all the best parties by now and know just about anybody you need to know. Bourbon would know where every single happy hour was and who had the free food and most potent pours. Good stuff to know in heaven, though I suspect there may only be wine of the sacramental variety available. I assume that demon rum can only be found where the demons are.
Wow, I’m already down to my fifth person to meet in heaven. Time is certainly flying by here, though I’m sure it would take several years to get to that fifth person, largely because once Jon and dad hooked up with my Seafair Pirate buddies, we’d be singing and drinking for eternity.
That could be a real problem, as I still need to meet that last person so I can find my own corner of the hereafter.
I’ve thought about who that last person should or would be. The truth is, I don’t know. I mean, figuring that out now really puts some pressure on a guy. I could name someone and if they are still living, they could go all freaky on me since they would have to take the Up Escalator before me so I could meet them, when they may be doing everything in their power to outlast me here because I’m on their list of heaven meet ups.
So, I will leave this last one undrafted. Yes, like pro ball, I will simply leave me the option to choose a designated meeter-greeter at a later point in time or let the Big Guy do that for me. I’m sure he has someone in mind, someone who can complete my journey.
I just hope that the journey doesn’t end where it did for Eddie. His idea of heaven was the same place he worked all his life – an amusement park. I certainly don’t want to have spend eternity on the 27th floor of the Westin Tower in downtown Seattle. Sure, it’s a nice place to work, but I wouldn’t exactly call it heaven.
In the Emerald City, glad that I don’t have any pressing need to meet anyone for a very long time,
– Robb