For years now, I have sought true love. If you’ve been reading these regularly then you already know about many of my famous fails in that regard. It’s not that I’m not lovable or don’t know how to love. I just made some really odd choices in my life.

I didn’t really know they were odd at the time. I even thought a few were good choices – at the moment. Oh sure, there was doctor girlfriend, who every time we were together I thought would suddenly say, “Oh-oh, I would get that checked if I were you.” Then there was the surrogate mother, who babied and coddled me, but thankfully and somewhat surprisingly, never tried to burp me.

I have only become aware of these famously bad choices because of my son. He has finally let me know his view of things, and believe me, it’s an eye-opening experience. It turns out that he has never liked any of my choices since he and his mother split up. None.

I asked him why he hadn’t told me earlier and he simply said, “It wasn’t worth it. But didn’t you ever wonder why I was so silent and aloof around them?”

I had to wonder, largely because he can’t seem to be quiet around Kat. He thinks she’s really cool, and rightfully so I might add.

This is a good sign, obviously. My friends have chimed in the same way, saying that I finally found someone who was a perfect fit, in stark contrast to those in my past.

If only I had found her sooner. I could have saved a lot of time and effort trying to find someone who not only “got me,” but had a similar outlook on life. No, I’m not referring to anything as silly as politics, religion or raising kids, but a similar outlook in terms of pirating.

Over the years, I haven’t had any luck finding someone who gets the pirate thing. I’ve been at it 30 years so it’s not like I’m suddenly going to have a girlfriend-induced epiphany that I should quit all this nonsense, grow up and become a “normal” guy.

It isn’t going to happen. True, I would occasionally find someone who at least didn’t roll her eyes too often when the subject of pirating came up. Some would even show some passing interest, enough that they would ask if they could get dressed up and go out with me.

I would readily agree. I would even make sure they had the basics in terms of gear – a broomstick skirt, a peasant blouse, some pirate-ish boots.

We would then head out for a day of play. Well, it was play to me. They mostly looked bored, wondering why anyone would want to get into a get up like this and cavort with the public.

Some would compensate for their boredom by getting more than a wee bit pie-eyed. Others were teetotalers, and we know how that can work out in our rum-soaked world. Eventually they would tire of my pirating ways and want to go home – early. And once we got home, or sometimes only to the car, I would get the old silent treatment, or more often, be lambasted for my something I did while we were out, no matter how harmless any of it was.

I learned the hard way that it’s a rare woman who gets the whole pirating thing. I have never dated a single woman who discovered pirating on her own before I introduced her to it.

I can say that Wrong Way’s (my son) mother came close. We actually met when she was a camp counselor but we didn’t start dating until after she had already joined the pirate group I was in. Technically, I had met her and struck up a friendship before she ever put on wench clothes.

So imagine my surprise when I finally meet a woman who had already been a pirate for nine bloody years. I didn’t have to convince her that it would be fun, teach her how to work a crowd or watch her act like she invented the very idea of getting into pirate costume.

It’s freaky cool and so unexpected to find someone who shares your passion for your hobby, or in this case, lifestyle. I assume it’s akin to being a biker and finding someone whose life dream is to go to Sturgis.

We even have complementary decor. As I write this, I am surrounded by icons of piracy, a large Captain Jack Sparrow statue, a pop-up Peter Pan book and Kat is in the kitchen cleaning her flintlock.

No, I’m not at my house. Such is the beauty of finding someone who gets me, and gets what has been such a large part of my life. Best of all, I don’t have to teach her to love it. In fact, I wonder sometimes which of us likes it more – her passion being as intense as mine, even though I have been at it longer. For my part, I have learned to love it even more, and experience the sweet trade through a new set of eyes, complements of my cohort in crime.

I never really thought something like this would happen. Not after all these years of having to compromise, and on occasion, simply surrender the idea of pirating in the interest of saving a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere to begin with.

I am not only back in Seattle again, but in the saddle again, being able to not only share what I love about life, but share my passion for piracy with the same person I’m in love with. Who would have guessed that my eventual return to the homeland would lead to true love, not only of the woman of my dreams, but of pirating.

In the Emerald City, glad to say that while we readily argh, we never arg-ue,

– Robb