I attended the James Taylor concert last Thursday. Yes, I not only travel well, but am willing these days to drive 2+ hours on a Thursday night to Orlando. And of course, make the requisite wrong turn on the way back that sent me through Bithlo, something no one in their right mind should face.
And while the arguments continue among my friends as to whether I’m really in my right mind, I couldn’t help but notice a phenomenon last night that has continued to amuse me for most of my adult life.
As usual, it was Monkey See-Monkey Do night at the Bob Carr Performing Arts Centre. It started early in the second set. One of the back up singers started swaying his arms in the air and within seconds, people in the audience started doing the same thing. Just a few of them initially, but then all the Sheep in the room started to do the same thing.
It got worse as the night wore on. I’m not sure if it was fueled by the fact that in Florida you can take your drinks into the auditorium. You can’t do this in Washington, at least not while I lived there. While it still strikes me as odd, I do think having a couple of drinks during a show would make me like ballet and opera a lot more. I wonder…
But, we’re not here to discuss the wisdom of allowing people to drink from bottles of beer during a James Taylor concert or whether it would improve opera. It’s the Sheep I am always fascinated by. As the concert wore on, more Sheepish behavior occurred. At one point, I believe it was after Fire and Rain, about 20 people jumped to their feet to give a personal standing ovation. Now, I’m not one to dole out a standing ovation to just anyone or at any time. They are meant to be special. Here’s a performer secret… If you give us too many standing ovations, we find them meaningless. They aren’t special anymore. A single one at the end of a show is the bomb. But having one or two in the middle of a show and then one or two at the end really cheapens the audience love you’re getting.
So the Sheep continued to herd, jumping to their feet to join the 20 or so who really felt something about the song. Good for them. Me, I sat. I didn’t get up. Not until the very end.
As the concert closed, everyone gave a standing ovation. I gladly joined in because he was outstanding. Probably the best $86 for 2 hours, 10 minutes I’ve ever spent. He even has signs out in the lobby that says, “James Taylor’s Shows Start Promptly at 8:00.” It did. What respect for the audience. Loved it.
As you know, though, Sheep can’t tell time. Even though there are signs everywhere, some of the Sheep obviously got lost along the way. There’s always a few lost sheep in the mix, aren’t there? Just think back to the Ralph E. Wolf and Sam Sheepdog characters from Warner Brothers. If it weren’t for a few lagging sheep, there wouldn’t be any need for the sheepdog to keep throttling Ralph, well, at least until the lunch siren sounded.
Then comes my favorite part of a concert. Either people don’t go to concerts much or they are indeed Sheep. The band leaves the stage, there’s applause. They are hoping for an encore. I know one’s coming up, because they haven’t turned the house lights up. Sure enough, back comes the band. The crowd is sure they made them come back. Just watch the house lights people. They will let you know if there’s going to be an encore. Clapping louder doesn’t keep the lights off, but it will save the life of a fairy.
Unfortunately, the Sheep seem to be driving our society. Just go to a Disney theme park once and you’ll see Sheep gone wild. They seem to look for a line to stand in, even if it’s just to have their photo taken with Chip and Dale or Dopey. Who in the hell cares about standing in a line to have a picture taken with two pedophiles dressed up as chipmunks? The same is true at weddings. Women will nearly kill one another to catch the bouquet so they can be the next to marry. Yeah, that happens all the time.
And you don’t even want to get me started on the state and national elections, where the Sheep mindlessly swept a bunch of rich white folks into power who are bent on wrecking our country with their own agendas, including taking away women’s rights and screwing the poor and disadvantaged. And what’s worse, these people said they were going to do these things and still the Sheep followed them. The must all feel like the Pied Piper, leading all the children away from town.
I not a good Sheep. I never was. I am more of a herder. I wish more people were. With all the Sheep in the world these days, us sheepherders are feeling a little overwhelmed.
Out on the Treasure Coast, getting ready to sheer the Llasa Apso,
– Robb