RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
Torn Between Two Lovers.
I have always liked Peter of Peter, Paul and Mary. He's no Paul, mind you, at least not since I found out he wrote Torn Between Two Lovers, which is an earworm from 1976 that will never, ever leave your head once it enters. You know the chorus: Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool Loving both of you is breaking all the rules. That's how I have been feeling as of late. You see, I've been seeing two people at once, and man, I feel like the biggest cheater in the world. As such, I needed...
Nah-thing To Do.
My friend Cassie and I were talking about retirement a few weeks ago. Like a Boy Scout, she is prepared. She has been prudent throughout her life to ensure that she would be able to retire in relative comfort. Me? I tend to piss her off now and again because of my cavalier attitude about those so-called Golden Years. For me, it's not something I've ever given much thought about, largely because: The future is an illusion. I only have right now, this moment that is guaranteed. There's no way to...
Pet-i-greed.
I don't know what it is, but I find the National Dog Show to be one of those things that once you see accidentally happen upon it, you simply can't look away. It is the Miss America pageant for dogs, though far more interesting because I have yet to see Miss Washington smell Miss Delaware's butt on national television. I'm not really sure how the dogs feel about all this pageantry. They seem to get what's going on, but I am still not certain if their willingness to strut their stuff is because...
House About It!
Until this past Sunday, it had been 31 years since I had seen the inside of the house I grew up in. It's not that I suddenly knocked on the door and asked for a tour. Rather, it's because in August, the house was apparently put up for sale again and Zillow, bless its heart, still has the listing. As a child, you remember your house differently than you view it as an adult. As a child, the house seemed huge. But now I see that it was only 1,750 square feet. That's small by today's standards...
Sure I Cans.
Revelations are an interesting part of life. Sometimes they appear out of nowhere; other times, we have to wait for them to show themselves, largely because life requires that you look forward a lot at the road ahead instead of wasting time looking back to see where you've been. The recent revelation that I do things because they entertain me – not because they bring me fortune or fame – has been a godsend. I now have the luxury at looking back at my life and connecting a lot of dots that were...
A Bunch of Sissies.
We live in extraordinary times. We are living longer, we have amazing technologies at our fingertips, 98% of those in poverty have a roof over their head, heat and refrigeration, most have cars and cell phones, and yet we have all become a bunch of sad, pathetic whiners and wienies. Perhaps this soft, privileged life of ours has made us this way. You'd think we'd be just the opposite, given that most of us grew up in an age where we rode bikes sans helmets, played with gasoline, hammers,...
The Principal’s Office.
A new hotel and bar opened in Seattle recently. Well, more accurately, it's in Bothell. It's in an old elementary school. You can even have a drink in the principal's office, which fittingly has been converted into a bar. I can't help but think that this would have made the principal's office a much nicer place to visit when I was in school. The principals I visited certainly could have used a good stiff drink, given the constant parade of delinquents marching through their offices. It was a...
Those Brave, Brave Men.
I don't know what caused them to sign up for the duty they found themselves in. Some were called to action I guess, others "volunteered." Still others were pressed into service against their will, from the ranks of other units in service. When I was a kid, they were called to service daily, never knowing the danger they would face, whether they were lined up to fight for the plastic bridge in the middle of the playroom – the white toilet paper roll serving as the river they must forge – or...
Giving Up.
This week's collective tragedies seems to have put us against the ropes. We are like Mohammed Ali on an off night. We're up against the ropes, both arms blocking the punches to our face, hoping like hell we don't fall to the mat and stay out for the count. That's not the world I grew up in. I refuse to live in fear. And more important, I won't give into the constant pleas to give in to ignorance and hate those who are fighting against us. Don't get me wrong here. ISIS is a demon. Its foot...
Having Faith.
I've had it with religion lately. Now, don't get all religiousy on me. I am a man of faith, often tremendous faith. Without it, I can guarantee that I wouldn't have my happily ever after right now. I would still be a lost boy, cast adrift, looking for something, anything, to keep me afloat in my life. It has not been an easy journey for me. When I was younger, faith was forced upon me. I guess it is with all young Catholics. We are taught at an early age to fear God and to believe that we will...
A Bad Sport.
Several weeks ago, the Mercer Island School District voted to ban the game of Tag on school grounds. I guess it had something to do with safety or that odd thing our society seems to have about touching one another. No matter. I guess we felt the need to suck all the fun out of a child's life these days. We've already removed the teeter-totters, monkey bars and merry-go-rounds from playgrounds. I'm sure Red Rover, Red Rover is on the verboten list, as is just about any other fun thing we used...
If God Had Wanted Us To Vote…
The punchline to the headline is something I have long said, "If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates." We've run out, you know. While I could go on and on about the local and state level, I will instead focus on the three-ring circus known as the presidential elections. I have been voting since Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter squared off in 1976. I voted for Ford and when Carter won, I told people that Nixon was still president if I were asked. If you think that makes me...