RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
Bike The Way…
Now that I am commuting again in Seattle, I am reminded of a couple of traditions here that seem to exist nowhere else. The first one is one of the more pleasant things that I had forgotten about - people let you in. That's right. While no one in Seattle may even think about it, "letting you" in is something people in Florida will never, ever do. In fact, they will go out of their way to close the gap between their car and the car in front of them, leaving you absolutely no chance to pull out...
The Jackal Party.
Every day, I watch the world. I don't watch it pass me by like some do. Instead, I look at trends, whether it's technology, society, cultural, political -- you name it. It's part of my job as a writer, largely because I write about so many topics that I have to have my hand in just about everything. As such, I get to play with the crystal ball more than most and see what's coming down the road for us. I've talked about the crystal ball in the past. But sometimes, a look into the past itself is...
ICU2 JP.
When I was a kid, my dad used to take us boys down to the city dump. I remember secret looking for the clown that lived there, the one that I saw on TV. Of course, I could never find him. I looked high and low for the shack he lived in, but never found it. I guessed that we were at the wrong city dump. Still, every time my dad went there, I would tag along, just in case. Lucky for me though, I could see JP Patches every morning and afternoon on my TV, welcoming him into my living room for...
Hacker’s Hack.
I wrote my first RobZerrvations in high school. Well, I can admit it now, I only wrote one RobZerrvation in high school. Yes, many went to print when I was a junior, but none were mine. It's not that I didn't try to write a monthly column. Each month, I would search my crazy brain for something to write about for ObZerrvations, which was the original name of my column. But I guess there's really not much stimulus to draw from in your youth, for nothing would pass muster from the Hack. No, I'm...
Frankly, I Don’t Give A Mitt!
Dear Mitt, As I've said many times, if God had wanted us to vote, he'd give us candidates. This November, I think God is sending a very clear message that I should give up the idea of voting for President. You had a chance at my vote, Mitt, a really good chance. I think Obama could have been beaten. I admit, I didn't vote for him last election. I didn't vote for John McCain either. I will vote this year though. And even if we were sinking into the depths of hell, I won't be able to vote for...
The Seattle Seafair Crowd Wavers.
The world of piracy in Seattle is not as I once knew it. It seems that the Seafair Pirates have gone soft. They don't even seem to know how to act like pirates these days, being stripped to their skivvies of all the things that makes pirootin' fun. I recently discovered that in they no longer get to scrape their swords on the streets. They can't touch kids or women, such as put their hand on their shoulder in a photo. They no longer get to pretend to take someone hostage, chase people down the...
Get In Line, Pedro. And Don’t Ask Any Questions!
Rarely do we get to look into the bowels of political machination. The deals that are cut in the back rooms throughout America are often obscure and rarely do we get to take a sneak peek. But I came across a disturbing document this past weekend, one that should give us all a lot of pause to think about how our country is being slowly taken over by other factions who want to return us to the dark ages. Their agenda is all about control. Control of our individual rights in the name of...
A VP’s Life For Me.
I was sitting in my office a few days ago when I noticed the King County Sheriff's helicopter flying around the building. This is always a sign that something exciting was going on. Since it wasn't a news chopper, I knew the building wasn't on fire, a good sign. But there were sirens and a lot of commotion on the street below. I guess the 40 police motorcycles lining the street in front of the hotel next to our building should have been an additional hint. Someone famous was in town. I knew it...
In The Naive-y.
I like to think that I am a somewhat rational person. A hopeless romantic, yes. But I do like to think I can see the writing on the wall and know when to hightail it out of a situation that is not working out. After all, I've got three ex's painted on the side of me. I look like I was an ace fighter pilot in the Big War. Three spouses downed in the conflict, all because something wasn't working out. Now, if you think I'm going to trip down that primrose path some more, I'm not. At least not...
So This Is What People Do On Weekends!
For the last 18 years, I have had virtually no life. I only realize this now because I have taken a real job once again, leaving behind my 24/7 self-employment gig and going with an 8 to 5'er instead. It has been quite a change. Instead of working in my t-shirt and shorts overlooking a beach, I trudge off to work on a Metro bus each morning just before 7 and head into the big city. There I travel to my assigned skyscraper and up to the 26th floor to my office. There I do pretty much what I...
Want To Come Up To My Lair?
I don't date much anymore, which is a good thing since the Janmeister would kick my ass. But there was a time when I dated. As we all know from my previous votes, I was something of a date retard. One woman even thought I was gay after our first and only date. Imagine that? On second thought, don't. I have always found the end of any date awkward. Sometimes, I have had no connection at all to a lass, only to have her manhandle me in the parking lot, wrapping her legs around me like an octopus,...
On Alki Beach We Landed (Not)!
The Seafair Pirates landed on Alki this weekend, just as they always do. Well, that's not quite true. There was a time when they were banished from the beach, largely because of my mutinous ways. It all started because the Seafair Pirates weren't on the highly favored list of West Seattle Hi-Yu President Diane Schutt. They had pissed her off one too many times, largely because they were a bit whiny in the press, claiming that they had come up with the idea of the Pirate Pub Runs we used to do...