RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
America, The Land Of The Stupid?
Not too long ago, at least in the annals of world history, there was a country that broke away from the tyranny of its oppressors and formed a new nation, one founded on a new notion, that every man, woman and child had inalienable rights, most notably those of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It was a bold experiment, yet an imperfect one. Still, visionary leaders through the generations have continued to refine it, to build upon it and to make their country, our country, a better...
The Bluest Skies You’ve Ever Seen…
There's an old joke in Seattle that goes like this... "Who wrote the song, The Bluest Skies You've Ever Seen Are In Seattle?" Answer: Helen Keller Since I moved to Florida, I have been back to Seattle just once. It was for my daughter's wedding, which was a little more than five years ago. Now, I am poised to wing my way back there this Saturday, for a nine day adventure into my past. I didn't intend to stay away so long. I guess none of us do. Somehow, life gets in the way of the best laid...
Some Beach… The Times Of Our Lives.
I went out to the beach a couple days ago. This should seem like a no brainer, since I live right across the street from the beach. But I don't go as frequently as I used to. Why? Well, because it's always there, quite frankly. There seems to be no hurry. It's not like it's the King Tut exhibit (which I have never seen) or the Titanic exhibit (which I have seen). These natural wonders aren't going anywhere soon, any more than Mt. Rainier is suddenly going to disappear from view in Seattle...
What A Soupid Idea!
Growing up in the sixties, my mother was always trying to use the modern conveniences of the world to stretch our food dollar and still put food in our tummies. She would come up with odd concoctions that were downright delicious, some of which, like goulash, I still make. When the winter turned cold, it was time for hot breakfasts. I still remember all us kids getting up in the morning, the smell of oatmeal or Cream of Wheat filling the house, along with the requisite buttered toast to go...
Have Faith, Young Man.
I rarely wish to delve into my romantic adventures, largely because I think of myself more as a Don Want than a Don Juan. I'm a bit awkward in the art of amore... more like a bull in a china shop. But, there are certain adventures, or should I say misadventures, that stand out in my mind. And even though the years have passed, their memories live on. Such was the case of Faith. I had met Faith in Grand Cayman. I was 24 and she was 22. She was from Louisiana, from a small hamlet just outside of...
The South Dakota Connection.
South Dakota isn't really a topic most people choose to cover. Let's face it. On the surface it isn't the most exciting state in the country. Placed next to North Dakota, it seems like a really happening place. But if you put it next to say, Iowa... wait, Iowa is like East Dakota so forget that comparison. OK, place it next to Washington State and South Dakota seems like a pretty dull place. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they had a town there named Dullsville. My family comes from South...
Sex And The 7,000 Brain Cells.
The Mail Online ran an interesting article about sex recently. Now, I want it on the record that I am very pro-sex. I think it's one of the coolest inventions ever, even better than the Ronco Egg Scrambler. Whoever thought of it should get a medal. Anyone who has ever had sex (and I'm sure that is most if not all of us) will know that it can be a real pleasure sometimes. It can also be pretty crummy. Thanks to modern science, we now know why. Now, before we get into the findings, I have to...
My Best CommuniCreations.
A lot of people think I'm a pretty creative guy, and looking at some of the things I've done over the years, I guess I can finally own that. I mean, how many people have created a tank out of a 1962 Ford Galaxie or convinced an employer that they should put on a lavish original theatrical production for employees at the holiday party? Or designed a 40-foot space shuttle for a trade show? If my life had taken me in another direction, I would have been an Imagineer at Disney or built special...
Californication.
Yes, you read right. This is all about my trip to California one weekend just so I could get some nookie, or as my one friend likes to put it, fornication. Before I delve into the entire story of my adventure in Californication, let me first say that I am truly delusionally optimistic. Because, as you'll see as the tale unfolds, I can convince myself of nearly anything. The plan was hatched innocently enough during a phone call one day with my then psycho-girlfriend, Connie. We were doing the...
I Was Poor?
When I was growing up in Renton, I have to say it was a great childhood. Unlike the kids today, we could ride our bikes virtually anywhere, we didn't have to worry about perverts jumping out of the bushes and abducting us and there were no video games to suck our lives away, only Saturday morning cartoons. It was a great time to be a kid. For you youngun's out there, this would be anywhere from 1962 (when I was four) until about the mid 70s, when I finally headed off to college. My father had...
The Last Bites
I was at dinner last night with the family. It was Parker's going away dinner as he readied himself to head back to Virginia for the start of school. His choice of restaurants is the ideal for a ravenous 13 year old - Chinese buffet. I love buffet, as we all know, largely because my Gemini mind doesn't have to torture over all the options available in a traditional menu. I sometimes have menu paralysis, not knowing what to order for fear that I someone else's plate will look yummier than mine....
Time Out? It’s A Whippin’ For You, Boy!
I really don't see how parents are able to raise their children these days. Today's psychologists and so-called child raising experts admonish parents who want to beat the living daylights out of their children. And children readily dial 911 at even a veiled threat of harm, calling it child abuse. When I was a child, it was "spare the rod and spoil the child." And before you think I grew up in a terrible, abusive household, I didn't. Yes, I got my share of punishments. And looking back, every...