RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
It’s All Downhill From Here.
My recent recollections of trying to be outdoorsy guy triggered another one of those wonderful memories of my past as a relationship chameleon. You would have thought by now that I had learned my lessons about snow-based sports. But no, along comes the psycho and I change my colors once again to fit in. This time, my big mouth and desire to get laid led me to the slopes of the Cascades. There, I was to try my hand at skiing. Now, I had tried skiing once before, but it was cross-country. Within...
The Poster Child of Screw Up.
I love it when my friends think I've so got it together and that I am such a success. If they only knew how big of a screw up I've been in my life. In fact, I often tell others that I should really be the National Screw Up Poster Child, since I've made just about every mistake in the book and tons of bad decisions, yet somehow, I'm still I'm chugging right along. I always liked what Jimmy Buffett once said about mistakes. I am paraphrasing a bit here, since I can't find the original statement....
Snow What?
My adventures in camping at the cabin took some other twists besides almost dying in a horrific snowmobiling accident because the damned thing was broken. Eventually, I wanted my daughter to enjoy a weekend playing in the snow. After all, what kid wouldn't love to play in tons of snow, making snow angels and snowmen to her heart's content. Becca isn't much of a camper either. She's more of a resort girl, I think. Even in her wide-eyed youth, I think she preferred the modern conveniences,...
It’s A Miter Box.
I was talking to my friend Cathy last night, reminiscing about the good old days when I tried to be a woodsy outdoorsman. I can hear you all laughing right now. But back then, I was dating an outdoorsy girl, and I have had a long, well established history of being a relationship chameleon... that's how I learned to ski, how I went snowmobiling, how I learned to drink beer while I drove, and tried my darndest to believe that rodents could make good pets. As a budding outdoorsman, I tagged right...
A Fair to Remember.
Next month, I return to the homeland from whence I came. After a five year absence, I am returning to Seattle once more, not to bless it with my presence, but to go to the Fair. Oh, sure, I have told my friends that I can't wait to see them. That is most certainly true. And I look forward to a long lingering lunch, sharing our respective stories about lives lived, with an old friend who has managed to elude me for years. But I have a secret agenda -- the Fair. You see, my trip was planned...
D.B. Or Not D.B. That Is The Question.
The FBI always gets its man. Wait, wasn't that Dudley Do-Right and the Mounties? No matter, for the FBI is hot on the trail of its only unsolved skyjacking case. They have left no stone unturned in their now 40 year quest to find the culprit who embarrassed the entire department, leading J. Edgar Hoover to say, "That bastard, I will see that he roasts in hell." Well, J. Edgar didn't really say that. But I'm sure he would have. Suffice it to say that D.B. Cooper has been a black stain on the...
The Big Mook. An Ode To Dog.
I have had two dogs in my lifetime. Both really were man's best friend. Well, Barney was actually a boy's best friend. I got him when I was 12. Our family dog had died recently and my aunt wanted to get me a new dog, one that I could call my own. She saw him outside a grocery store with his litter mates. He cost 10¢. She gave them 50¢ because she felt sorry for them. Barney was a faithful companion growing up. And I shall have to write about him in more detail down the road. For today's tome...
In Hydro Heaven.
Growing up in Seattle in the 1960s there was only one real sport in town: hydroplanes. These monsters would race deck to deck five abreast at 150 mph plus, their drivers only held in by a death grip on the steering wheel and one foot slammed into the bulkhead of the cockpit. The drivers were my idols. These guys were both crazy and fearless, piloting what now seem to be very primitive boats at impossible speeds. If you've never seen an unlimited hydroplane they are about 30 feet long and when...
I Haven’t The Foggiest.
When I was a junior in high school, Hazen High mounted their production of Brigadoon. It was an all-school play, one that involved the drama, band and choral departments. I only got involved in the whole thing because Mrs. Hacker, my journalism teacher, was the producer of the show. Before you think I went out for the lead, you're wrong. That was Mike Webster and Curtis Watson. I wasn't in the orchestra, because they didn't have French horns. I wasn't a highland dancer and I wasn't in the...
I’ll Take The Stealth Fighter. And The Ginsu Knives.
As I was watching the circus come to town in Washington D.C. these past few days, it occurred to me that given our current state of technology we should just do away with Congress all together. I think we could handle this budgeting thing better ourselves. I only thought of this because I was telling my son that back in the day, the Cable Gods had promised us amazing new capabilities. Not only would we have thousands of stations with absolutely nothing to watch, but we would be able to...
A Change of Pacer.
I have been fortunate in my life to have escaped vehicular harm for the most part. I have been in three accidents, none of them my doing. Two were minor, though I may have inadvertently killed one woman when I told her to drop dead after numerous calls about the self-inflicted damage to her car. I never heard from her again. There was only one accident that was serious, certainly bad enough that I occasionally still have dreams about it and why N 145th St. in Seattle still is not a road I like...
I Hope You Choke On It.
It's well established that I don't like doctors. For me, they are right up there with horses. It's not that I don't respect them or their knowledge (the doctors). Whenever I do something stupid, such as step on a nail, they are always accommodating and do things that I can't do myself. However, I don't voluntarily seek them out. I'm not one to run off to the doctor for every little ailment. In fact, it has to be a really big problem for me to even consider it. I certainly won't think about...