I’ll Have Two Kids. And Could I Get Them To Go Please?

I am the proud father of two wonderful children. I suppose few parents ever brag that they are the proud father or mother of two messed up losers, but mine really aren’t, at least not yet. I often joke that I have two only children, which is mostly true. They...

You Can’t Vote The Real Rascals Out.

Ah, the election follies are just around the bend and the cast of characters just gets better all the time. But what truly amazes me is the hatred each side has for the other and how everyone takes sides, as if a change of a president or even an entire Congress will...

Sorry, I Don’t Do Drugs.

I am something of a rarity, I hear. I think I may be the only Boomer who went through the 60s, 70s and 80s who’s never tried drugs. Well, not the illicit or illegal variety that is. That’s not to say I am some holier than thou goody two shoes. I could tell...

I Don’t Like Spiders and Snakes.

I don’t have too many freaky phobias. I admit to never being fond of heights or falling. As such, my love affair with roller coasters, particularly those that spiral or loop, never came to be. In the bug department, I do profess to having some fears. Totally...

Whatever You Do…Don’t Kiss The Girl.

I’ve alluded to the fact that I had mononucleosis when I turned 18. As you all know, it’s called the kissing disease, though you can get it from many sources. Me, I got mine from wanting to see a pair of boobs. I had met my girlfriend just before the end...

Don’t Pick the Pretty/Handsome One.

As a guy who has been in the dating trenches several times in my life, I have always marveled at how women seem to gravitate towards the drop-dead hunky, testosterone laden man instead of the sensitive, less than a 10, girly guy with a good sense of humor they often...

Sorry Son, Only Neanderthals Hit Each Other.

I got to play father a few days ago. As my son gets older, these sessions seem to get less frequent, but deeper in terms of topic. We used to talk about him growing up to be a cow some day. Now we talk about girls and about being made fun of. I was made fun of when I...

Music To My Ears…

Over the years, I have written several songs which have received mild acclaim. I’d have to say that “Rudy,” which is based on Kenny Roger’s “Ruby” but is about a guy who gets a sex change, is my personal favorite, followed closely...

I’ll Have The Chimiluparitotada, Por Favor.

I profess a great love of Mexican food. Whether it’s the real stuff in Mexico (which is very different than what we consider Mexican) or pseudo-Mexican in the states, I will choose Mexican over any other dining option, except perhaps, Italian. Now, I will not...

I Don’t Know The Deadiquette.

A recent scare with my mother set my mind in motion recently. Not to worry, she’s all right. But some day I will get the call that I have been dreading for years and I will have to deal with the fact that she is no longer with us. Thankfully, we’ve already...