I’m Out Of Control!

Like most people, I used to think I was totally in control, not only of my own life, but those of others. In the impatience and inadequacy of my youth, I spent endless hours torturing over what others were up to, what they thought of me, how I could get them to do...

If I Only Had A Brain.

If you spend enough time online like I do, then you begin to understand that our Founding Fathers didn’t really mean for us to have free speech. Well, not all of us. I have learned that the two worst things that have come along in recent years is Facebook and...

The Baton Death March.

I have had a backache for about three months now. I don’t like to complain about things like this and I would never go to a chiropractor. Instead, I just endure the pain and when necessary, joke about it. Most people don’t think such things are funny. But...

Where’s My Super Ball Ring?

Like most men in America, I think about sex from time to time. I guess most of us do, except during football season when men seem to be far more interested in their favorite team than their favorite girl, unless, she’s wearing pads and a helmet. that is. I think...

Lost In The Woods Of Life.

When I was a kid, my house was backed by woods. Today, they would call it a greenbelt. We just called it “the woods.” The back half of the yard was wooded, which led to the cliff, which led to May Creek – one big forested backyard. The wooded part of...

Why Do I Suffer So?

I am not much of a sports fan, I admit. Not being sporty growing up, I never really got a taste for killing an entire weekend watching every college football game on television. And I never, ever watch tennis. I can’t think of anything more boring than two...

Weight On Earth?

Many years ago, I gave up wearing a watch. I still have watches – five to be exact – but they are all in a state of disrepair in my jewelry chest. I stopped wearing them when I figured out what a ruse the earth was trying to play on me. I simply refused to...

Ya Got Some Talent There, Son.

I have only recently come to realize I have a gift. I don’t know where it came from. It’s been there for as long as I can remember. It’s manifested itself in many different ways over the years and I never thought much about it, figuring everyone...

America, The Land Of The Stupid?

Not too long ago, at least in the annals of world history, there was a country that broke away from the tyranny of its oppressors and formed a new nation, one founded on a new notion, that every man, woman and child had inalienable rights, most notably those of life,...

The Bluest Skies You’ve Ever Seen…

There’s an old joke in Seattle that goes like this… “Who wrote the song, The Bluest Skies You’ve Ever Seen Are In Seattle?” Answer: Helen Keller Since I moved to Florida, I have been back to Seattle just once. It was for my...