RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
Amazing That We’re Even Here.
Now that I'm working out semi-regularly, I have had to deal with the issue of time. No, not the time it takes to exercise. The clock on my iPhone and the timer on the treadmill offer plenty of measurement for that kind of time. What I am referring to instead, is how to occupy my brain so that it gets as good a workout as my body. Initially, I tried the Shuffle feature on my phone. It would dutifully serve up a selection of songs from my impossibly big song selection, something like 10 straight...
Brain Jenga.
I'm not sure what set off the cascade of doom that filled my mind a couple weeks ago, but it was pretty much all-consuming. It seemed as if nearly every part of my life was off kilter. Funny how these things happen. One moment you think you're all in alignment and the next moment you find you've been standing at the top of a Jenga stack and playing pieces are being removed rapidly below you. You just stand there, waiting for the inevitable end where everything, including you, crashes to the...
The Battle Of 1314.
There's a war going on. No, I'm not talking about the one in Afghanistan. I'm talking about the one in my house. For several days now, a war that once was fought solely on the Dishwasher Front has boiled over. Enemy troops are now spreading far and wide, breaching our carefully laid lines of defense in the kitchen. Even poisonous gas has proven ineffective. Toxic mists have descended on their columns in a vein attempt to keep them from reaching their objective - the now removed bottle of maple...
It’s A Ball.
Many years ago I read the bestseller Looking Out for #1. I don't know if you remember it. Hell, I don't know if I remember it. I do, however, remember the opening of the book. The author painted a picture of our place in this big vastness we call existence. He postulated that for all we know the earth could just be a ball that rolled off some giant's table and we are all in for one helluva surprise when it finally hit the floor. That's a pretty freaky thought. It certainly was when I read it....
Playing To Win.
It's funny sometimes how the most innocuous thing sets your mind to wondering. For years I have kidded myself about not having goals, only to find that I really do have them, they are just buried beneath a debris field of fanciful stories I tell others so that I seem alternately mysterious and stupid, often at the same time. Such is the case recently. I was watching the last season of How I Met Your Mother. If you haven't seen it, it's like Friends, but a lot of the action takes place in a bar...
Fish On!
My career as a fisherman has been a spotty one at best. There have been times when I have had a fish on that I should have kept, only to let it go. At other times I have wrestled one onto the boat that I really should have tossed back as it wasn't worth the trouble. I have friends who have had great luck fishing. They have only fished the small ponds near their homes and came home with a prized catch - they limited on their first try in the fertile fishing grounds and I couldn't be happier for...
Dear Me.
I discovered a letter to me recently. I had forgotten I had written it. To say that it was an eye opener is an understatement. I really wished I had written more of these missives to myself at various points in my life as they serve as a real reality check of where I was and where I was going. Now, I'm not going to spill my guts about what is covered in these 4,524 words I penned to myself. After all, it was a letter to me, not to you. Besides, some of it would be very disruptive to others,...
What’s In Your Wallet?
Nearly 20 years ago now, I went to my first high school reunion. It was also my last. I didn't stay long, only a couple hours, largely because it was sooooo boring. It really shouldn't have been. Suffice it to say that the experience has jaded any thoughts of going to subsequent reunions, if only to save me from going postal in the middle of the soiree because I was bored out of my mind. Why? To understand, let's hop into the Wayback Machine and travel ever so briefly to my high school...
There’s A Plan, Man.
In my last RobZerrvation I alluded to the Four Man Plan. Yes, it's how I came to be a significant other. I didn't know there was a plan, of course. That seems to be part of the plan. I didn't know about it until two weeks ago, but I was a participant in it. My girlfriend at the time and I were hanging around the old housienda when she casually asked if I wanted to see something on YouTube. Being of a naturally and endlessly curious nature, I said sure. We went into the office and pulled up the...
Check Mate.
A couple days ago I saw a post on Facebook from a friend who said she could never be in a relationship again, largely because her checklist was so long and very specific. Well, put that in the "been there and done that" outbox for me. I have been on the receiving end of the infamous checklist for decades now, and have never found them to be particularly useful. Why? First, checklists set us up for failure. Let's start with the non-relationship type of checklist. Yes, accomplishing things is...
Boat Building.
At work recently I've been involved in a huge project. It's one of those lean exercises, one that if it works and is fully embraced, can change the way our department in Washington's government works. I am usually a big naysayer when it comes to things like this. I've seen it all before, and the results have always been haphazard, lackluster or even counterproductive each time. My famous example was at Associated Grocers. Art Jones, the second in command, decided that we should have a new...
Say Cheese!
As a parent I have done many things that I have regretted. Like most, I lied about Santa Claus and built on that lie by also saying there was an Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy. Oh, what the heck, why not add to my layer of lies and pretend leprechauns and fairies were real, too. I have paid for my parental transgressions over the years, of course. On the even-things-up scoreboard, I've sat through a two-hour Blue's Clues show just so my son could enjoy what I can only describe as a Sixties...