RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
The Crabgrass Isn’t Always Greener.
I just came back from my new yard. As it is with all homes that have been vacant for a while, the yard could use some TLC. It has its share of weeds, odd plants that seem like they would be more at home in the jungle, and yes, crabgrass. I didn't initially notice the crabgrass. You never do when something is new to you. You seem to have rose colored glasses on your eyes that don't allow you to see the fact that your lush green lawn is really mostly crabgrass broken up by the occasional weed. I...
Lost Vegas – Marriage Encounter II
I wrote a few days ago about my first wedding. It didn't go so well. Not only the wedding, but the marriage. I guess the wedding itself should have been a good indicator that the actual marriage would go to hell in a hand basket, but when you're young, you still believe in that "happily ever after" stuff. O.K., so I still do believe in that. I certainly did 10 years after the end of my first marriage. I had met someone that captured my heart. Yes, Parker's mom. It was a whirlwind romance to...
I Need An Epleasiotomy.
I write an awful lot about medical issues. I really don't think there is a medical condition or procedure that I don't know about. My friends like to tell me that I should just test out on the medical degree because I'm always diagnosing them. And a few days ago, as I was sitting in a creative meeting, the agency head was starting to explain robotic surgery to me and I was already bobbing my head like dog because I probably wrote the script he was using to tell us about it. That doesn't mean...
It’s Somewhere Between Here and There.
As I've told you, I've moved a lot over the years. I can't even count the number of times on all the fingers and toes. Some of these moves had to happen very, very quickly, given my often poor choices in my love life. Others were far more predictable, some even planned. None have even come close to the disaster that has been the Florida to Washington Follies. I would say I can't even begin to tell you how everything played out, but well, that's what RobZerrvations are for. It all began with a...
I Can’t Get Behind A Plow, Either.
Mystified, are you? No, I didn't buy the farm, at least not yet. But today's RobZerrvation does concern a topic that would have eventually meant my demise. If you don't recognize the source of the headline, here's a reminder: You're in the Army now, You're not behind the plow, You'll never get rich, You son of a bitch, You're in the Army now. Oh, yeah, we're talking about my life in the Army. Well, not really in the Army. I never enlisted nor was I drafted. In fact, for a time, I thought I was...
Cowabunga, So That’s What’s Blowin’ In The Wind.
I have never felt too bad about being a meatatarian because I have long maintained that cows are kind of stupid. OK, not kind of. We use the term "herd mentality" for a reason. I only bring this up because of a news article a couple days ago about some cows in Colorado. It seems a few of them had wandered off from the herd accidentally. I'm not really sure how they do this, since I've never really encountered rogue cows, except for the one that came charging out of my woods when I was a kid...
I Think I’ve Missed Something Here.
I've been back in Seattle permanently for what, about 13 days now. Sure, I've straddled the coasts for some time, but now that my stuff is actually heading this way, it's time to feel at home. Well, at home again, I should say. I must say, I've been away awhile. Somewhere along the way, Shucks became O'Reilly's. Not really sure why, but I can still pretty well guarantee that no matter what part I buy from O'Reilly's, I will end up returning it because I'm sure they have parts people who are...
My Compass Is In The Shop. Again.
Last night I was watching Taken with Liam Neeson. If you haven't seen it, here's the plot in two lines. On a trip to Paris, his daughter is kidnapped and is about to be sold into the white slave trade. Liam isn't going to let that happen at any cost. Liam has what I call in the movies, a moral compass. It is different than a regular compass, one that points to true or magnetic north. A moral compass is one that helps us choose between what is right or wrong at any particular moment. I love the...
Can’t Someone Just Drop A House On Me?
I have been searching for a place to live in Seattle. This used to never be a problem. You could get a place with no effort at all, landlords would beg you to move in, often offering you money off on your first month's rent or even free rent. But since I've been away, a housing shortage has occurred. Part of the reason for this was the big real estate bust when projects were shelved and left to rot while the economy slogged its way through recovery. Also to blame is the fact that everyone...
Can You Say I Don’t?
Everyone has their fond wedding memories. Mine are more hilarious than fond, at least the first time I walked down, or should I say around, the aisle. I was married at St. Madeleine Sophie in Bellevue. This was in the 1970s and having a church in the round was a very hip thing. I never liked it myself, because it felt too much like a sports stadium. Well, my wedding certainly was a spectator event, so perhaps the church was indeed appropriate. It was to be a small wedding. We didn't have a lot...
Will You Movvey Me?
You know that I know all about The Big Day. Yes, that Big Day. You've been through it at least once. I've been through it a few times more than many, but perhaps not as many as some. I even looked it up a couple days ago. It seems that one out of six Americans go through it every year. Some even look forward to it. Others, well, they'd rather have a root canal. I don't blame them. The Big Day always seems to gets the old flood of emotions going, from nervous jitters and unbearable stress to...
Weather Or Not.
I seem to be weather blind. Perhaps it's because I had lived in Florida for eight years. Perhaps it's because I'm from Seattle where you just don't expect it to ever be nice. But when it comes to weather, I'm a bit well, agnostic. While everyone around me seems to talk about the weather, I rarely notice it. Sure, when I was in Seattle I would bitch about 10 straight days of rain, but not because of the rain itself, but because of the poor driving skills all Puget Soundians seem to possess when...