RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
Reading The Fine Print, I’m Screwed.
I was blissfully unaware until recently that the 10 Commandments have a lot of fine print. Archeologists recently unearthed a second copy of the Commandments, one that was still intact. In a nod to the future computer age, it seems that God chose to back up his files. And boy, were there some real surprises on this tablet. While we all know the 10 Commandments that appear on the front of the tablet, what we didn't know is that there is a lot of fine print on the back side, clauses that explain...
I Am Cursed I Say!
Yes, I am cursed. For as long as I can remember, at least since high school, I have been cursed by knowledge. Before any of my friends respond, "you just think you're smart," let me say that I have never considered myself to be super smart. In fact, one of my exes clocks in higher in the IQ department than I do, and no it's not the one who thinks she's smart but isn't. We were extremely competitive too when we tested our IQ. She beat me by about four points and given her career arc, I can see...
White Out Or Black Out. Decisions, Decisions.
I have learned a few lessons in life over the years. One of them is never get involved in a land war in Asia. Another is to never use White Out with Word. It's a bitch to get off the computer screen. You remember White Out, or more appropriately, Liquid Paper. It was invented by Bette Nesmith Graham, a secretary at a Texas bank. Like most overnight success stories, she invented Liquid Paper in 1951 (it was then known as Mistake Out). The company didn't make enough money to hire even its first...
Now That’s What I Call A Happy Meal!
I love cheeseburgers. I never seem to get tired of them. In fact, I could have one or two every day and be a very happy man. I had five cheeseburgers in a day once, even. I know, that seems a bit excessive, but I was young and didn't really know my limitations. I have lots of friends that like cheeseburgers, too. Some like them just after they wake up in the morning, others like them as a little late night snack. I think cheeseburgers are good any time of the day really. Any time you're in the...
Miss Anti-Seattle, It’s All In The Name.
For a middle-old guy, I'm pretty Internet savvy. I have been an early adopter of new ideas such as Facebook and Twitter. I have my Pinterest invite waiting in the wings, though I haven't had the time to play with it. Apparently, I am more Internet savvy than a lot of 20 somethings, who don't seem to understand the power of the medium and that what they say online is never private. It's not entirely their fault, I guess. It's ignorance and ignorance, unlike stupidity, can be overcome. Few...
Where In The World Is Robbie Sandiego?
My friends have been having a terrible time keeping track of me as of late. I seem to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time. My friends in Florida think I'm still there, while my Washington friends are both delighted and mystified that I am back in Seattle once again. Unfortunately, this guessing game will just have to continue on for a while. Believe me, it's not at all a pleasant existence from my perspective. While I have done the bimbo limbo a time or two, being in actual limbo isn't...
No, I Don’t Miss Shell Games.
It's funny how you sometimes don't realize who you really are when you're unhappy. You can even delude yourself into believing you are actually happy, even though on the inside you are dying. I only know this because that's what was happening to me in the past years here in Florida. In an effort to keep my life on an even keel and keep others around me happy, I was becoming miserable. I didn't know I was miserable. But it turns out others knew it. They had seen a happy go lucky kind of guy who...
It’s All Your Fault.
I used to like to get to school early. Actually, I like to get to everything early still, be it work or an event. There are simple reasons for this, at least simple to me. When I was in the working world, I would get to work an hour early so that I could enjoy some peace and quiet time before the noisy throng of workers arrived. When it comes to events, I don't like to fret about where to park. So I get there at the beginning of the event so I can have a place to park. I'm not sure why I went...
There’s A Dime. Turn On It.
It's funny how life can change so quickly. With just one single, seemingly small act, your entire life goes in a new direction. I have always marveled at this phenomenon, and now I am in the middle of one of these moments once again. In my own life, there have been few "dime times" (i.e., turning on a dime), that have really been what I could call momentous. Obviously, leaving a failing relationship and moving across country comes to mind. So do the deaths of my brother and father by the time...
It’s For The Birds.
I am not a bird lover. There, I said it. I should clarify that I am not totally anti-bird. I love birds that are out in the wild. Daily I see pelicans fly by my window here in the big treehouse on the beach and marvel at these goofy prehistoric creatures who can float through the air in ways I can only dream of. I'm not even certain when my lack of bird love came about. I haven't been traumatized by them in real life, well, at least not as a child. I didn't even know anyone who had birds as...
Rick, You Are No Jack Kennedy.
I admit that I am at my wit's end. For now, even I am embarrassed for Rick Santorum, who in his egotistical, almost maniacal desire to be president, threw his fellow Catholic President John F. Kennedy under the bus, on the Sabbath no less. Imagine my surprise (OK, so I wasn't surprised, really) that I would read that Rick "The Prick" Santorum said this about Kennedy's famous 1960 speech were he pledged to keep his religion out of the White House: "It made me want to throw up." Why let it go at...
Come Fly With Me.
Once again, I am flying the coop. Another trip to the airport. Another destination (OK, so it's seems to be the same destination always as of late). I have flown more in the last year than the last 10 combined it seems. I feel as if I am living at the airport and if not there, in the car on the way to it. Fortunately, all this time in concourses and on planes has given me some time to reflect about how we could improve the whole experience. I really don't think it has to be the trauma that it...