RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
Going To Collage.
I know what you're going to say. It should be college. But collage sounds so much more upscale, like being a valet or a concierge. I am a product of the state educational system. I got to go to college when it was really expensive, $83 a quarter for a full load. That didn't include textbooks, though, which could run you a hefty $100. I'm not so sure I really needed to go to college. At least not four years of it. Still, someone supposedly much wiser than I thought that anyone who wanted to go...
To Have And Have Not.
It occurred to me the other day that almost our entire existence here on earth, and particularly in the United States, can be summed up in four simple categories: The Haves The Have A Lots The Have Somes The Have Nots I used to be a Have Nots. Yes, we all have to start someplace. In my case, we were originally the Have Somes. My father had his own business and it did well for a time. Well, until he started drinking too much and fell ill and died. Somewhere along the way, we became the Have...
Stuck In The Middle With Few.
I sometimes marvel at the polar opposites our society finds itself in. Few people want to take the middle ground, but really, that's where all the fun is because, well, either you don't have to take sides or you can take all sides. It's funny how things come around in full circle. When I was young, it was Ford or Chevy, phones were black or white, it was rice or potatoes, Superman or Batman. There wasn't even paper or plastic yet, just paper. I am sure my parents would have loved more choices...
I’ll Take The Three Piece.
I've owned a couple homes in my time. I don't own them anymore. I don't even think I really ever owned them, because when you get down to it, the bank footed the initial bill and I only got a couple years into the repayment plan before something went wrong. I'm not sure I was ever meant to own a home. And now that I'm pushing old guy status, at least in a bank's mind, it may never happen. I mean, I'd be 84 before the 30 year note would be paid off. My first house that I actually owned was in...
Going To The Chapel, And I’m…
I know, the end of the line is "going to get married." As we know, I've been down the aisle a few times in my life. I could have saved myself two of them, if I had only known what modern researchers have uncovered recently. We all know the feeling of getting cold feet. You know, the runaway bride or groom thing where you come to your senses and run for your life. I've known people who have had it. My own ex had it, not with me but the husband before me. Her father even told her she could cut...
Who The Hell Am I?
Every Saturday morning, I make an o'dark thirty run to downtown Seattle. It's not something I do with great frequency. 4:30 is damned early on a weekend, but when there's a damsel in distress, what's one to do? Put on the slightly tainted armor and ride off to the rescue. Or should I say in this case, drive off to the rescue. I had planned to immediately return to my semi-conscious state in the bed. But as I flipped through the channels, up popped one of my favorite "seen this a dozen times...
At The End Of The Rainbow.
I used to chase rainbows. I guess I'm a bit like Dorothy Gale in the Wizard of Oz, only I don't have a little dog, a witch isn't chasing me (anymore), nor do I live on a dustbowl of a farm in black and white Kansas. I do, however, live in the Emerald City, so I think I know something about the topic. And as a one time rainbow chaser, I think I've earned my stripes when it comes to being a bit of an authority on the topic. I was a rainbow chaser until late last year. I really don't know what I...
And Open Letter From One Of the 47%.
I heard last night that I am one of the 47%. I guess I was already one of the 99%. And since I'm an Independent, I guess I'm also one of the 10% everyone talks about, the ones who will swing the election either way. This isn't about the right or left today. Frankly, I could care less about the election right now, largely because there isn't any real choice out there. Everyone seems to want to put me into a neat, tidy little statistic. Well, Mr. Candidates, I am not a damned statistic!!!! None...
The Next Best Man.
I have been the Best Man at a wedding a time or two. It was an important job and I was pretty good at it. I knew my role, I knew what to do next, breezed through the rehearsals and handled everything with total aplomb. I never really liked the receiving line thing. I admit to bagging out on it all but once. And I was never one to stand with the other single men, waiting to catch the garter. If I had, I know that I would have been in big, big trouble, largely because I shouldn't really be...
Do You Have References?
I've had some problems over the years holding down a job over the years. I guess we all know that. One day I would be at the job, thinking everything was fine. Then I'd get a burr in my britches and give notice. Other times, I would be pretty unhappy in the job, only to find that I was given my walking papers. It's not that I wasn't a good interview. I was actually pretty good at it. I could answer all the questions, giving the perfect answers. I exuded loyalty and talent, was always ready to...
The Bahamas. Like Canada But With Palm Trees.
I was telling a friend the other day about my many adventures in the Bahamas. First, I loved going to the Bahamas when I lived in Florida. It was a quick trip across the water from where I lived. And who wouldn't like an entirely foreign country that is 30 minutes away by air? There's no such place in Seattle. If you fly 30 minutes you either end up in Portland, Eastern Washington or make a horrific splashing, ripping metal sound in the Pacific Ocean. The nearest tropical port of any worth is...
Playing With A Marked Deck.
The presidential conventions are done. All the hot air in Tampa and Charlotte should have been issued with hurricane warnings. Either that, or each delegate should have been issued a roll of toilet paper to deal with all the crap that was being spewed. Here's what I learned. Neither side really cares much about the average American. Sure, they pander to their respective audiences, but really, both sides are out of touch. In fact, I saw today that both sides think $250,000 a year is where the...