RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
A Life Paved With Regrets? Hah!!!
A few weeks ago I had a lengthy discussion with a friend of mine about the regrets they've had in their life. It was a pretty deep discussion, one that I had trouble following as I am pretty much regretless. I live a Frank Sinatra kind of life. If you recall the song, "My Way", Frank crooned, "Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention." As I search my often overflowing brain looking for regrets, I suppose I could indulge in a few if I really wanted to. I mean, I've led a...
These Boots Are Made For Walking.
Ah, it's wintertime again. And while I don't get to enjoy the full effect of winter here in Florida, a recent trip to Seattle gave me a chance to truly enjoy one of the great pleasures there - boot season. I know, you thought I was going to talk about the the coming of the holidays. You should know me better than that. While I do indeed enjoy a crisp winter morning, with the leaves rustling on the city streets, I am prone to instantly being distracted when a woman walks by wearing a fetching...
The Hermiston Watermelon.
As with most young men, my hormones were raging when I turned 13. Puberty had come knocking and I answered the door enthusiastically. Overnight it seemed that I suddenly had all these amazing feelings and, well, urges. The only problem was I didn't really know what to do with them. Though I had three older brothers, not one of them ever bothered to clue me in on how the whole male-female thing worked and there was no way I was going to ask my mother. I was still in a "between girls" phase in...
I Should Have Studied First.
I have always wanted to be part of a clinical study. Over the years, some of my friends have been part of a study, and I always thought it would be exciting to be part of something that could change the face of our society by giving us greater insights into what makes us tick. I even applied for some over the years. I tried to get into one study on smoking, but was told that you have to be a smoker. Wish they would have told me that before I filled out the 20 page questionnaire. I also tried...
It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas?
The Christmas season is upon us once again. Well, at least I think it is. For me, the holiday season begins the day after Thanksgiving. Before this, I won't pull out or put up any decorations or even acknowledge Christmas decor in the stores, even though it now seems to make its first appearance around the Fourth of July. This year, I was in Key West for the traditional start of the holiday season in my world and I've been playing catch up ever since. I knew this was going to happen, of...
What A Year…Book.
I rediscovered my high school yearbook the other day. I actually have four of them, one for each year, as well as two from middle school at McKnight in Renton, Washington. Though I've left tons of stuff behind in the various domiciles I have moved out of, been kicked out of or run for my life from, I have continued to haul these monstrosities around, for what reason I am never sure. As I pulled my senior yearbook out of the bookshelf, however, it suddenly occurred to me that it would have been...
Where’s The Party?
The holidays are upon us and once again the holiday party scene is in full swing. I have not been to a party yet, which perhaps is a good thing, given my history of holiday parties. It's not that I don't like a good Christmas party. In fact, I had a pseudo gathering in Key West with some of my fellow pirates at Pirates in Paradise (PiP) last week. We could call it a PiPmas Party, I guess. There were Oysters Rockefeller and Washington Reisling to enjoy, and a lot of good friends. Oh, and even...
Left Out Of The Loop.
I am a minority. There, I said it. No, it's not because I'm over 50. Or the fact that I'm a white male. Or even that I am dyslexic, which is now covered by the American Disabilities Act. It's because I am left handed. Yes, I am one of the lucky 10% of the world who at one time were considered sinister in some societies. You know, the unclean hand in Middle Eastern cultures. Ah, lucky me. Well, the truth be told, I am lucky. I found out recently that the dyslexia combined with left-handedness...
This Hotel’s Got A Lot Of Stuff.
I've spent a lot of time in hotels lately. I think about a month out of the last three months has been spent in one of these distant cousins of office cubicles. Some were about as big as my old office cubicle while others were larger than some of the apartments I have had. Last week, I was staying at the Doubletree in Key West. I couldn't afford to stay there 11 days on my own. Heaven forbid. I think it's like $250 a night here. Just like a medium priced call girl, I was doing favors to get...
Carnie-val In Key West.
For the last 11 days, I have been in Key West playing pirate. It's a hard life, I know. It was there that I was surrounded by some of the most debased individuals on earth. Unreliable, uncouth, foul-smelling folks who would steal everything from you if they could and kill you if they had half a chance. Yes, I'm talking about carnies. They make pirates look like pillars of the community. As Austin Powers once put it, "Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands." If...
Damned Mistress!
I have had many loves in my life. But as of late, a new love has come into my life and I think it only fair that I tell you about it. I have made it a practice here in RobZerrvations to lay out my entire life... the good, the bad and the downright ugly. So why not admit that I have a love affair going on and it's been going on for some time. You see, my iPhone and I are virtually inseparable. It wasn't so many years ago, that I never had to worry about having such a love. Back in the landline...
A Real Ringer.
I was on the phone with my friend Bobby a couple days ago and we seem to never run out of things to say. The conversation went on for about two hours, I think, through almost dead phone batteries and runs to the restroom. It's always this way. Even though we were hardly best friends when we met some 30 years ago, over time we have developed such a tight bond that I even the passage of time and 3,000 miles can't keep us apart. Now, in the interest of telling this story fully, I have to mention...