RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
Hell’s A Picnic Compared To Purgatory.
I have been in purgatory lately. If you're not familiar with purgatory, you're obviously not Catholic, Roman Catholic to be exact as there seems to be splinter Catholics out there these days that don't believe in Paypal Infallibility. Sorry, that would be papal infallibility, though a recent problem with the Paypal folks makes me think that the Vatican actually owns them, too. I like to think of purgatory as God's little Green Room. In show business, the Green Room is where all the guests wait...
My A-Ha! Friend.
As a typical screwed up male, I tend to bounce around life like a ball in a pinball machine that is constantly flashing tilt! I don't know why this is so. I often attribute it to a gypsy soul, one that is always seeking solace but craves adventure. It is, I suppose, which makes me who I am, for better or worse. Unfortunately, this gives me little perspective about myself. I instead live in a delusional world which, without someone to lift the veil of intrigue and lure of fantasy, would...
So Far And Yet So Near.
As I've noted, I am a bit time and space challenged. It has become legendary among my friends that I under estimate both, only to be continually surprised at how long something takes or how far it is away. When I was getting married in Vegas, my then fiance and I wanted to explore the strip. We were staying down at the Imperial Palace, across the street from where we had planned to get married, Treasure Island. The wedding wasn't until the afternoon so we had some time to kill. I suggested we...
Some Things Never Change. Thankfully.
Yesterday, I stepped into the past. It's not the past that I remember, but a different version of it that is the present. Still, it was pretty cool to do that. The visit to the past began at what used to be the TNT Tavern. It's no longer there on Admiral Way. Some time ago, after I left the Emerald City, it closed. My friend Dee who bartended there for a long time had died and I don't know whatever happened to Cathy, who owned the bar after her husband Tom had passed away. The TNT was my home...
I’m Out Of Control!
Like most people, I used to think I was totally in control, not only of my own life, but those of others. In the impatience and inadequacy of my youth, I spent endless hours torturing over what others were up to, what they thought of me, how I could get them to do what I wanted them to, and what I was willing to do for them in return. In some respects, we are all control freaks at this time in our lives. We have roles we play - student, spouse, ambitious corporate up-and-comer, devoted parent,...
If I Only Had A Brain.
If you spend enough time online like I do, then you begin to understand that our Founding Fathers didn't really mean for us to have free speech. Well, not all of us. I have learned that the two worst things that have come along in recent years is Facebook and the ability to make comments at the bottom of news stories. My, the populace is unprepared for public discourse. I remember back to 1996 when I first got online. Back then, AOL was the name of the game. They had all these forums that you...
The Baton Death March.
I have had a backache for about three months now. I don't like to complain about things like this and I would never go to a chiropractor. Instead, I just endure the pain and when necessary, joke about it. Most people don't think such things are funny. But for some reason, I do. In the case of the back pain, I casually mentioned the problem to a friend of mine. "What do you think is causing it?" she asked. "I think my spine is finally growing back after I lost it in my last marriage." Go ahead...
Where’s My Super Ball Ring?
Like most men in America, I think about sex from time to time. I guess most of us do, except during football season when men seem to be far more interested in their favorite team than their favorite girl, unless, she's wearing pads and a helmet. that is. I think there's a reason for this and if we were to be objective about the issue, it could be fixed quickly to the, uh, mutual satisfaction of all involved. Love lifes all over America between August and January could be greatly improved if we...
Lost In The Woods Of Life.
When I was a kid, my house was backed by woods. Today, they would call it a greenbelt. We just called it "the woods." The back half of the yard was wooded, which led to the cliff, which led to May Creek - one big forested backyard. The wooded part of our yard was a wonderland for a little boy. I knew it like the back of my hand. We had blazed a few paths with the family machete, partly to run our go-cart through it and also so we could reach the edge of the cliff. The rest we left au natural....
Why Do I Suffer So?
I am not much of a sports fan, I admit. Not being sporty growing up, I never really got a taste for killing an entire weekend watching every college football game on television. And I never, ever watch tennis. I can't think of anything more boring than two people smacking a ball back and forth on a court of dirt or grass. And as we all know, I'm not a fan of baseball. Been to the games, but if they didn't have beer, I don't think I could have survived even one inning, let alone nine, ten,...
Weight On Earth?
Many years ago, I gave up wearing a watch. I still have watches - five to be exact - but they are all in a state of disrepair in my jewelry chest. I stopped wearing them when I figured out what a ruse the earth was trying to play on me. I simply refused to be part of its shenanigans any longer. I have covered this in great detail before. So this particular posting has nothing to do with time, except of course, the time it takes me to write it and the time it takes you to read it. Instead, I...
Ya Got Some Talent There, Son.
I have only recently come to realize I have a gift. I don't know where it came from. It's been there for as long as I can remember. It's manifested itself in many different ways over the years and I never thought much about it, figuring everyone could do it. Got you wondering now, don't I? As you know, I write for a living. I actually do other things in my job, too. I am fairly adept at graphic design and have designed perhaps 300 to 400 websites over the years, going back to the dark days...