The Hermiston Watermelon.

As with most young men, my hormones were raging when I turned 13. Puberty had come knocking and I answered the door enthusiastically. Overnight it seemed that I suddenly had all these amazing feelings and, well, urges. The only problem was I didn’t really know...

I Should Have Studied First.

I have always wanted to be part of a clinical study. Over the years, some of my friends have been part of a study, and I always thought it would be exciting to be part of something that could change the face of our society by giving us greater insights into what makes...

Damned Mistress!

I have had many loves in my life. But as of late, a new love has come into my life and I think it only fair that I tell you about it. I have made it a practice here in RobZerrvations to lay out my entire life… the good, the bad and the downright ugly. So why not...

Changing The Rules of Engagement.

I found out a few days ago that a one time girlfriend of mine was about to get married. Whenever this happens, I can’t help but place myself in an alternate time and space and wonder if that would have been me caught in the snare. Don’t get me wrong. I am...

Don’t Ever Start A Band.

I have a confession to make. I have been a polygamist. Well, not in the true sense of the word for I’ve always found that having one wife was plenty of challenge. I can’t imagine wanting more than one. But, for the last 30 years I have been in a...

Forget The Remodel. I Want It Restored.

Many years ago I came into possession of a lovely home. It was everything I had dreamed of, and it was all mine. To others, it may have not been worth a second look. But to me, it was the place I had always dreamed of. It wasn’t fancy. Pretty basic really. A...

Way Off Course.

During the weekend I had time to reflect on past relationships. I’m not really sure how the subject came up, but I’m pretty sure that it was because of the song we do called Zombie Jamboree which asks the question, “Can you imagine me with a zombie...

Sex And The 7,000 Brain Cells.

The Mail Online ran an interesting article about sex recently. Now, I want it on the record that I am very pro-sex. I think it’s one of the coolest inventions ever, even better than the Ronco Egg Scrambler. Whoever thought of it should get a medal. Anyone who...

Californication.

Yes, you read right. This is all about my trip to California one weekend just so I could get some nookie, or as my one friend likes to put it, fornication. Before I delve into the entire story of my adventure in Californication, let me first say that I am truly...