RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
It’s What I Do.
It's been a little over six months since packed it all in and up and moved back to Seattle. And it's been a little bit more than six months since I started by job with the state. So, I thought I'd take a moment to talk about what I do, a "state of the union," so to speak. Given that voters here are deciding who my new boss will be on Tuesday, it seems like a good idea to show what a typical state employee does. Me, I landed the best job in the world. I am the Marketing, Communications &...
And The Rich Shall Inherit The Earth.
I've been watching "The Men Who Built America" these past couple weeks. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Sure, you may know the names Vanderbilt, Rockefeller and Carnegie from your history lessons, but this show really brings them to life in new and interesting ways. For example, I never knew they were all so tightly interwoven, and each one was bent on screwing the other as best they could to rise to the top of the heap. Rockefeller brought Vanderbilt to his knees by making his...
Stuck On You.
I have always had a policy of not dating anyone in the media. The rule not only extends to reporters, columnists and "personalities," but also to actors and actresses. A producer would be fine, and even a director, but no one who has been actually on camera. It's based on my own experiences, which I admit, are limited. So don't consider anything I say here as all encompassing or all inclusive as it could include people from other walks of life as well, such as cheerleaders. I just don't have a...
The Circle of Life.
I went to Jimmy Buffett's concert last Tuesday night in Seattle. Truth be told, I've seen him many times before, even in Florida a time or two, until the price of a single ticket soared above $125 and I bailed out of Margaritaville. Yes, there were the cheap "seats" in the lawn. But I have never been one to sit way the hell out in dumb fu** Egypt for anyone, not even Jimmy. And I'm not about to sit on a blanket or bring my own chair, like I'm some homeless guy. However, I couldn't resist going...
The Attack Of The Teen Zombies.
Not too long ago, I wrote about Zombees. Yes, those whacked out bees who have been eaten alive from the inside out by flies who have acquired a taste for bee meat, turning ordinary bees into crazed, hollowed out zombies of the air. The whole zombie problem has seemed to spread to teens as well. Researchers are claiming that it is no longer your kid's fault that they can't wake up in the morning, fall asleep in class and then suddenly get a burst of energy when it's bedtime and play X-box until...
A Chunky Monkey Memory.
It's taken a long time for me to realize that my brain works a bit differently than most of the people I know. I guess I just assumed everyone's brain was as random as mine, pulling in stuff from all over the place and twisting and turning it into something new. In some respects, this is indeed the case. We all have the same mechanism that does this, and it's something that sets us apart from the other creatures that roam this land. Let's start with the basics. When it comes to remembering...
Double O Zero.
I see that the James Bond franchise is turning 50 this year. And while I am often a trendsetter, finding the next big thing out there long before anyone else, I admit that I am at a loss when it comes to 007. I never got on board the James Bond train, or I guess, Astin Martin. I do know that Sean Connery was 007, the first one, and that since then a bunch of guys have played him, some better than the others. I guess that's part of what tripped me up. Which James Bond do you hang on to?...
Cur-sedCreations.com
Yes, you read right. My child, my spawn, is on my sh** list right now. No, it's not because of the money I have ended up owing the IRS over the years. It's all paid up (as far as I know). Sometimes my baby makes more money than I think it does and I don't suck it dry enough to make the numbers work. Oh yes, there are times when it didn't make much money at all. Last year, it all went down the pooper shooter for something like the third time. Feast or famine is the name of the game in small...
Vote For Me!
As noted a few days ago, I was so excited about this year's presidential election that I threw my own hat into the ring at the last minute and cast my vote for well, me. I thought long and hard about this. After all, it's a big decision to take this glam job, one that gives you almost half a million dollars in annual pay and a shiny white house. Yes, it's in that other Washington, but you know, if I get to be president, I promise to move that big white house to somewhere where the weather in...
STOP! In The Name Of Love (Or Safety).
There were two coveted positions in the elementary school hierarchy. Well, three, if you included being an office assistant. I didn't have the right plumbing to work there, though I often wished I had, since they got to play with the mimeograph machine and other high tech equipment. As noted elsewhere, I did score a library assistant position. No big surprise there, really, as I was a real bookworm and a bit of a geek back then. OK, so nothing has really changed. The only thing left to grace...
Trick Or Die.
I have to hand it to the Chinese. Why waste a bunch of money firing nuclear missiles at us, setting off World War III when you can just knock us off one at a time, starting with our children. The vile plot came to light a couple days ago. U.S. Customs agents spotted 229 cartons of Halloween pirate costumes destined for a distributor in the Seattle area. Each costume, all 1,371 of them, contained 11 times the legal limit of lead. Yes, the Chinese are continuing to try to knock off future...
It’s Due When?
I know this may be hard to believe, but I went to school before the age of computers. Well, let me correct that a bit. I don't need to sound older than I am. Rather, I went to school before desktop computers become the norm. Oh, how I wished I had had a Mac or even a PC back in my high school or college years. I was raised on an old Smith Corona. I see them in antique stores these days. They are relics from the past, yet have become hip again with the younger crowd who find it oddly...