RobZerrvations
Musings from a Meandering, Mischievous Mind
Hangover? What Hangover?
As a teenager, I only went on a drinking binge once. I was with two of my female friends, Nancy Dickinson and Kathy McMahon. We had scored a case of beer and were drinking it in the back seat (which folded down nicely) of my mother's Mustang hatchback. It was then that I saw the light. No, it's not the light that you see when the end is at hand. I was already at the end, a dead end, one that I had carefully scoped out only days before. The lights stopped about 20 feet in front of my car. Damn,...
Yes, I’ve Lied To My Son.
I was on the phone with my son yesterday. We were laughing about a bunch of stuff as fathers and sons do. He then asked me if I would ever lie to him. When I said, "No, of course not!" it took him only a second to call me on it. "What about Santa?" Damn! I had lied to the kid. And I had told him a whopper. Like most parents I kept the belief in Santa alive as long as I could, just as my own parents did. Even my brothers used to keep the spirit of Santa alive, long after they knew the truth....
I Was Raptured By The Experience.
I don't like to keep secrets from my friends. Pretty much, I am an open book when it comes to things that happen in my life. So it's with a heavy heart that I tell you all that the rapture did indeed come and I was part of it. I know. I find it hard to believe myself. I was sitting here minding my own business -- and, in fact, making fun of the whole rapture nonsense on Facebook -- when I was raptured. It didn't happen at 6 o' clock, however. It was at 8. I guess God must have been running a...
Fractured Fairy Tales.
I was reading Time magazine this morning. They had an article about how we are hardwired to be delusionally optimistic. Even when the facts run contrary to the moment, we tend to always think of the glass as half full. The general reasoning is that we have unbridled optimism to keep us alive. If we didn't, for instance, all the pioneers crossing the prairies and enduring great hardship would have simply offed themselves just outside of Salt Lake City. Instead, they believed that just over the...
A Sheep Trick Played On Most Of Us.
I attended the James Taylor concert last Thursday. Yes, I not only travel well, but am willing these days to drive 2+ hours on a Thursday night to Orlando. And of course, make the requisite wrong turn on the way back that sent me through Bithlo, something no one in their right mind should face. And while the arguments continue among my friends as to whether I'm really in my right mind, I couldn't help but notice a phenomenon last night that has continued to amuse me for most of my adult life....
But I’m Not Through Wanting It Yet.
Growing up somewhat poor, I learned the hard lesson of deferred gratification. It may be hard to recall now, but that's what we called saving up for something and then buying it with cash. In the old days, credit cards didn't exist. In fact, the first credit cards didn't even come along until the year I was born, 1958. I admit that I have credit cards. I have two or three and I can pretty much buy anything I really want at any time, even a car. But I still like the idea of deferred...
My What A Big Head You Have.
I was watching television last night when I noticed the phenomenon again. I was waiting for Glee to start and Scotty McCreery on American Idol was standing next to Ryan Seacrest. And there staring back at me was Scotty's mammoth sized head. I only became aware of this when I saw a photo of a former friend. She was standing next to another friend. It would have been a really nice photo, but I couldn't help but notice that my former friend had a huge head, at least compared to the other girl in...
Presidential Asspirations.
I am always amazed when the circus comes to town. All the people who want to be president who have a snowball's chance in hell of becoming our leader. Sometimes I think we should just elect the president the way they choose Miss America. Although the idea of Newt in a swimsuit terrifies me. I'm pretty sure they could answer the question about world affairs better than the Miss America's do. Except for Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann. And come to think of it, I don't really want to see either...
Online Dating. It’s A Miracle.
I had the dubious pleasure of dating online at one point. I don't know if many of you have done this, but I can only liken it to walking through a car lot and taking a few test drives, only to find that some of the models are a little squirrely once you actually go for a ride while others are definitely past their prime. Now, this is not to impune any of the wonderful women I had the pleasure to actually get to know, many of whom are still my good friends. There are indeed some real treasures...
I Do Travel Well, I Really Do.
For many years I received a bum rap. I was told and it was well known among my friends that I didn't travel well. In fact, I would often hear one of my friends tell another, "Robb doesn't travel well" under their breath as we were standing at the airport or awaiting for our bus. Well, I have discovered this is simply not true. I found out I do travel well. I always thought I did. I've managed to go on a "big boy" trip on my own many times. For a time, I even junketed once a month to San...
And We Think Times Are Bad Now.
This weekend was a real epiphany for me. Since I was working over the weekend, breaks were few and far between. But when I got them, I would turn on the old boob tube to learn something. I don't really watch a lot of entertainment oriented television shows. How I Met Your Mother and Glee are about it for me. I gravitate toward shows I can learn from. I popped on the TV and found Filthy Cities on the DVR. If you haven't seen it, it's a real eye opener. We think we live in a polluted world now....
The Oldometer Is About To Roll Over Again.
My car is roughly eight years old. It's a bit of a piece of crap. It squeaks and grinds in several places and really doesn't want to get up and go like it once did. It may be time to get rid of the Black Widow. Funny how it all works. I think an eight year old car is ready for the junk pile but I still keep the 53 year old model I cart my soul around in going. That's right folks, the oldometer rolls over to 53 next week. Now, I don't really make a big deal about any birthday, especially ones...